Recent reviews by Mattex

Epic Spider Boi

I came for the cat.
And I'll stay, for this stray.

(Cute cutscenes and characters. The mood/vibe in the streets is just awesome)

! - Review is actually by a friend who can't review it cause it's blocked in his country... (We both bought it but and we agree that it's just bad tbh, even for a "bad/joke" game... so see this as more or less a 2 in 1 review if you will...)

Friend's review:
1. You can't Kagger on the Wood stump even if you try :(
2. You can't get out of the b**bie Forest even if you collect all of the D*ldos wich is extremly sad and disappointing (EDIT: You can leave it but apparently he missed it somehow, I didn't play that far)
3. There is a army of Skeletons that try to chase you but they kill themselves somehow
4. Breastfeeding
5. There are too much Dildos to find it would be better to search 5 Dildos and then have a crossover with adventures of Mike (Red stupid Bird) and Basketball hoop (Ball game)
6. Skeletons are too weak
7. You need more Weapons like a crossbow or a pistol and some explosives
8. Kagger
9. Yep

So, finally time to change my review... Even if Techland themselves didn't make the decision to add micro transactions, it is still their game so I also gotta join with the negative review here

The campaign is a lot of fun
It is far from perfect BUT I imagined an open world Halo far far worse
It still has amazing music, addicting gameplay and a nostalgic feel for the old titles and I have to at least give 343 props for that...
Idk why they changed some things that always were good but it's still a good and entertaining game!
Also some boss fights feel a little too bullet-spongy on heroic or legendary

P.S.:
I hope at some point the MP will also be fixed, then the game (all in all) will be a solid Halo title

Cute and short game with charming art-style, characters and music
Think it's worth the experience, especially if you buy it on sale

Pretty sad if you know a certain story about one of the game's devs tho...

The bois do in fact wiggle

It's a trial and error game where you are a dog... a dog that's on an amazing adventure...
an amazing adventure that sucks so much fkin ass...

But fr, you have to start a new game everytime you open this thing... So I can't give it thumbs up, not even as a joke

(Also I am the first review... well congrats to me I guess)

Amazing game, finally on PC... If we'd get Spider-Man and Bloodborne as well our lifes would be complete! <3

Game slaps as hard as Doom Guy's fkin fists