Senaste recensioner av Lolita

help me bro

-open tiktok
-watch a retarded battlebit game montage
-♥♥♥♥ looks like roblox with a cheating wife and severe ptsd
-buy the game and hop on a 127v127 match
-pick the helicopter because you want to sacrifice your life for Pakistan
-politely introduce yourself as an experienced captain and tell your passangers your destination
-start the engine
-ready for take off
-passenger in the back decide to have a banter
-they play fortunate son and paranoid by black sabbath
-lowkey enjoying this and feeling like a real Nam '72 pilot
-fly over the urbanised area filled with russian troops and btrs
-take a huge back shot
-we are falling from the skies
-passengers are petrified and scream their lungs out
-"I am too young to die!, I am too young to die!"
-report to the squad leaders your situation
-"Mayday! Mayday!, Sierra Papa, Sierra Papa: Blackawk down at Delta I repeat blackhawk down at De-"
-hit the ground...
-listen to distant shouting in the ether
-open your eyes
-see the new friends you made bleed to death
-where the ♥♥♥♥ am I?
-out of nowhere a medic appears to heal you
-ask him what happened
-"You have been hit by russian tandem, we are now behind the enemy lines, we have orders from Uniform to protect Delta from the Russians in the east, we need your help"
-unite with their squad and proceed to hold the D point
-take out your AK16 and empty your mags on the Russians
-start running out of ammo
-reload
-meanwhile you see your squad getting whipped out one by one by the enemies
-realise that this is going to be your end
-the medic that saved your life is now praying to God asking for forgivness
-your defenses have fallen
-you are the last man remaining in your squad
-you see the enemy enter the building
-"you ain't gonna take me alive ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥"
-take out a grenade and detonate it in front of the Russians
-"ты охуял?"
-die in glory with tears running down your cheek
-spawn back at the lobby and start questioning your purpose

10/10

Helps me forget about her

>Spawn on a beach
>Wtf is this place
>Start getting basic resources
>Omw to the Junk Yard
>Hear gunshots
>Get approached by 2 people wearing blue wizard hats
>They say they are from the KKK in strong middle eastern accent
>"You are our prisoner now, follow us or we will kill you"
>Follow them while they point AK47 at your head
>Enter a wooden shack with no windows
>You see inside other 5 naked slaves fearing for their lives
>"What will happen to us?"
>"We don't know brother"
>*Islamic prayer music starts playing*
>The KKK members enter the room
>"Let Allah judge you for the things you have done against him"
> ¤_¤
>They open fire while screaming in Arabic
>Watch the new friends you made die
>*Wait I am still alive*
>"You are the chosen one, you will become one of us to spread the love of Allah"
>Leave Baghdad
>Return home
>Go on steam
>Download Beached
>The same thing happens

Follow the orders of the men in blue wizard hats.

10/10

Great strategic game I rate it 9/11

Great Game with beautiful maps (season 1 was the best) and great potential for success, however quite similar to Fortnite when talking about the concept.

Good shooting game with great community although there are too many cheaters 😢