Schrödinger's Pussyboy's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 9:51am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 10:10am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 9:51am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 11:59am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2015 @ 10:26am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 10:08am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 6:27pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2015 @ 7:37am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 2:46pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 4:05pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2022 @ 9:03am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 1:45pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2015 @ 2:58pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2015 @ 2:49pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2022 @ 10:39am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2015 @ 10:46am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2022 @ 8:28am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2022 @ 9:59am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2015 @ 7:12am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 9:59am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2022 @ 9:26am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 3:02pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2022 @ 8:45am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 3:05pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 8:18am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 2:42pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2015 @ 10:31am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2015 @ 6:59am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2015 @ 7:12am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2022 @ 8:40am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 2:47pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 9:37am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 10:10am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2015 @ 7:59am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 9:43am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 10:10am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 6:43pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2015 @ 2:45pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2015 @ 7:15am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2015 @ 7:40am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2015 @ 5:47pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 1:48pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 11:23am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 12:44pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 3:18pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2022 @ 8:06am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2022 @ 11:32am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 11:10am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2022 @ 7:55am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 2:04pm

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 3:58pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2022 @ 10:54am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2022 @ 2:05pm

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2022 @ 9:16am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

5 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

11 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

12 / 30