All you need is a 12-gauge shotgun, an M-84 flashbang, Sweet Baby Ray’s Barbecue Sauce, and a 20,000 kg block of solid Uranium-235. We first must create a diversion, this will distract the assailants such that you have an opening for tactical withdrawal. It is for this reason that we brought the barbecue sauce. Using your buff, well-toned arm, lob the barbecue sauce out the window at exactly 100m/s at an angle directly parallel to the outside ground. Assuming the barbecue sauce weighs 0.56kg, acceleration due to gravity is 9.81 m/s, and initial vertical velocity is 0, the barbecue sauce should take exactly 1.11 seconds to reach the ground ignoring air resistance. This gives you exactly 1.11 seconds to escape the vicinity before the barbecue sauce lands on the ground and explodes into a lethal fireball, as all nearby objects are incinerated by common household condiment burning at 6,000℃. A single tear escapes your eye, as you realize you will probably never taste the sweet nectar of Sweet Baby Ray’s again; not after the Sigma variant caused the downfall of the barbecue sauce supply chain, a great regime whose unwavering glory surpassed that of the roman empire at its peak. But right now, more important matters are at hand. You will never forget the sacrifice that Sweet Baby Ray’s made to save your own life, and the trust in your hands: the future of human civilization. There is no turning back now. You must now take action, and seek immediate vengeance. Carefully breach a bedroom door with a 12-gauge shotgun, and clear the outside area with an M-84 flashbang. Then run towards the nearest exit, making sure to make random turns to confuse the enemy. For if you do not know your next move, neither can they. Finally, once you’re outside, it is time to unleash the fury of the 20,000 kg block of solid subcritical uranium-235. With your house surrounded, it only makes sense to make one last stand for the survival of human civilization. This is what you’ve been preparing for. Assuming you have not been lacking, you should easily be able to replicate the compression effect of a chemically fueled implosion assembly nuclear weapon explosive lens with your bare hands to force the fissile uranium to super-criticality causing an exponential growth of nuclear chain reaction that releases 226 Billion Joules of energy into the surrounding environment, but this is not a tragic case of self-sacrifice because you took a swig of Sweet Baby Ray’s before running out of the house. You will not go gentle into this good night, for souped up on the sweet nectar of God, you are now essentially a human-nuclear recoil gun. No mortal shall impose you now, for you have ascended to a plane of existence touched by no other living man. Your opponents will not even realize what is happening before a beam of fiscal material transfers 500 kilo-tons worth of TNT through their chest, killing them instantly. Now you can finally do what you want, you are God, the entire world is at your fingertips.

Muck might be one of the most thought provoking titles yet added to my steam library. The dichotomy of the multiplayer experience contrasted with the struggles of the single player journey is a venture more difficult to digest than the chicken chalupa from Taco Bell. My experience of this game began on a Monday afternoon. Not realizing the trials and tribulations that have been set before me, I ventured forward and set into my first world, on Gamer difficulty. Muck has challenged me on new levels that I have never before experienced prior. There is a certain difficulty to the bosses that are both completely atrocious to fight against and also insanely horrific to fight against. As I loaded into this world and picked up the rock indicated to me on a screen, I realized what I was soon to be in for. To my behind, I hear the screams of a golem, coming for me as my uncle once did oh so many years ago. The mobs in Muck are as convoluted and profound as there are in any game, rivaling only the non-playable characters in No Man's Sky's launch patch. There is a complexity to the facial depictions of the bean characters in Muck. Having no variation from each other, there is no manner in which to deviate the realm of possibility that lies before you. Is this bean a villager, simply willing to trade goods? Or is it a bloodthirsty bean, aiming for your head? The uncertainty of the existence of the beans are completely understated and overshadowed by the rest of the mobs in the game. After I had thought my worst nightmare had appeared before my eyes with the golem that had attacked me on the first night, I realized that I was so, oh so naive. Two words appeared at the top of my screen that instantly sent chills down my spine. Big. Chunk. With no such more than a thought, my world was changed completely after this encounter. An ethereal being, capable of mass destruction on a scale not seen until this point in time, in this very moment. Hurling boulders at the speed of light, I saw my fickle and inexperienced life flash before my eyes as the chaos rained down onto my crippling body. Descending into darkness, my mind collapsed at the sheer will and power of Big Chunk. This monster, who is capable of leveling skyscrapers and incapable of standing down to any creature on this god forsaken muck of a planet heaved his boulders far beyond the speed of anything I could imagine straight into my cranium. My body soon follows my mind as I collapse to the ground, incapable of any movement as my muscles grow weak and my bones are crushed to ash. It was at this moment that I recall my final moments with my mother before I wished her farewell on my journey to achieve greatness in the world of Muck, (A feat that I was all too naive in believing that I could achieve at my maturity). The things that I wasn't able to accomplish, the one who got away, and the simple things in life that I wish could have come to fruition have become lost from me now. Falling forever into an empty state of being I feel up the courage to break free from my prison of black which was holding me captive and forcing a seeming eternal slumber upon me. Light returns to my eyes and I fall into a complete and utter emotionless despair as I realize that this nightmare was not over, and was in fact only beginning. Surrounded by a boundless sky, I turn to see what could possibly be the least glorious thing that could appear before my eyes. I see a bean, solely bound by the sands of time, only existing for my displeasure. There was no other option but to create another world, and try again. For what I saw would haunt me for an eternity. There was no way out. The only way forward is to journey forth, and venture into Muck once again.