Playtime past 2 weeks:
0h

View global achievement stats
You must be logged in to compare these stats to your own
43 of 89 (48%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2017 @ 12:58pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2017 @ 12:32pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2017 @ 12:45pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2017 @ 4:36pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked 24 Jul, 2017 @ 9:53am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked 15 Dec, 2017 @ 5:27pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked 10 Jun, 2018 @ 7:41am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked 14 Jun, 2018 @ 10:00am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2018 @ 1:18pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked 20 Jun, 2018 @ 8:49am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2017 @ 7:14am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked 14 Jun, 2018 @ 9:20am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Unlocked 31 Jul, 2024 @ 9:22am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked 24 Jul, 2017 @ 9:53am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked 15 Dec, 2017 @ 5:27pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked 21 Jun, 2017 @ 1:01pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked 18 Jun, 2018 @ 9:44am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2018 @ 1:05pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2018 @ 12:44pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked 16 Dec, 2018 @ 11:54am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2017 @ 9:20am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2018 @ 1:04pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2017 @ 9:18am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2018 @ 1:21pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2017 @ 12:31pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked 15 Dec, 2017 @ 5:27pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2017 @ 12:31pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2017 @ 12:02pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2017 @ 12:33pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2017 @ 1:09pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked 17 Dec, 2018 @ 10:30am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2018 @ 3:00pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Unlocked 14 Jun, 2018 @ 9:30am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2018 @ 1:24pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unlocked 17 Dec, 2018 @ 10:14am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2017 @ 12:54pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2017 @ 7:46am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2017 @ 10:01am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Unlocked 24 Jul, 2017 @ 9:53am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2017 @ 8:52am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Unlocked 18 Jan, 2018 @ 1:16pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2017 @ 7:44am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Unlocked 8 Jun, 2018 @ 1:35am



Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
28 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
14 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
4 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
1 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
0 / 3

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
2 / 30

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
8 / 10
+12

12 hidden achievements remaining

Details for each achievement will be revealed once unlocked