I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from ♥♥♥♥ I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.

You could hang a 115 pound weight off of my erect penis yet it would not falter even in the slightest. This is the unrivaled force of my 🅿️🅾️werful erections. I have been dubbed as the erectile penis god- my penis is the lifter of worlds and my potency knows no rivals. All other males are mere beta trash when within a 50 mile radius of my violent sexual energy. Zeus’s master bolt pales in comparison to the might of my lightning rod, and the power of my nut makes the full wrath of Poseidon look like a mere squirt from a plastic water gun. The universe shall now tremble in fear and stare in awe whenever I am erect, for mortals and immortals alike can never dream of stopping my progression, as my ♥♥♥♥ has already surpassed all.

i'M SO jEaLOUS YOU'RE PLaYInG dARK sOULS!

ZOMGOSH YOU'Z GOT AI WAR?! WE PLAY GAEM?!

Two can play that game >:P

WHAT IS THIS PLACE FILLED WITH SO MANY WONDERS CASTING IT SPELL THAT I AM NOW UNDER ! SQUIRRELS AND THE TREES AND THE CUTE LIL' BUNNEHS BIRDS FLYING FREE AND BEES WITH THEIR HONEY HONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY OOOH WHAT A MAGICAL PLACE AND I OW IT ALL TO THE PEGASUS RACE IF I KNEW THE GROUND HAD SO MUCH UP IT'S SLEEVE I'D HAD COME HERE SOONER AND NEVER LEAVE YES I LOVE EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING