Johnny Bedir's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 29 Jan @ 8:48pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 29 Jan @ 9:31pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 29 Jan @ 8:09pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 4:24pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 1 Feb @ 9:08am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 7 Feb @ 12:46pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 4:51pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 7:53pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 10:22pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 3 Feb @ 2:37pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 8 Feb @ 1:40pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 6 Feb @ 10:36am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 8 Feb @ 11:10am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 7:53pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 7:53pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 7:53pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 3 Feb @ 2:42pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 9:44pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 4:24pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 3 Feb @ 8:56am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 7:53pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 4:46pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 7:53pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 3 Feb @ 1:21pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 3 Feb @ 1:50pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 4 Feb @ 10:35am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 5 Feb @ 7:12am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 8 Feb @ 1:40pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 8 Feb @ 1:40pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 4:47pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 29 Jan @ 9:04pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 3 Feb @ 2:33pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 9:00pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 9:46pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 6 Feb @ 9:57am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 3 Feb @ 1:56pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 29 Jan @ 8:07pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 1 Feb @ 8:44am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 1 Feb @ 9:02am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 29 Jan @ 7:57pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 29 Jan @ 8:37pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 8 Feb @ 12:27pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 7:53pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 3 Feb @ 1:37pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 4 Feb @ 10:29am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 29 Jan @ 7:50pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 2 Feb @ 4:28pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 8 Feb @ 12:13pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 8 Feb @ 11:13am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 29 Jan @ 8:55pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 31 Jan @ 6:16am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 3 Feb @ 8:44pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 4 Feb @ 9:29am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 5 Feb @ 7:18am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 31 Jan @ 5:25am

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 3 Feb @ 8:42pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 5 Feb @ 6:49am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 6 Feb @ 9:27am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

20 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

15 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

5 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

2,020 / 5,000