Jar of Milk
California, United States
 
 
Alright.
Currently Offline
spenjboi
SpongeBob: [SpongeBob walks outside, and breathes in the fresh air] Ahh, what a wonderful day. The sun is out, the water is shimmering, scallops are chirping. So peaceful. [SpongeBob immediately grabs wood, a hammer, and some nails, and starts to noisily build a stand. Squidward peeks his head out the window] Squidward: Can we lower the volume, please? I can't work with all that racket going on! SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Squidward. Squidward: Yes. Mmm. Right. Mmm. SpongeBob: Okay. [he taps on a nail lightly, and he looks up at Squidward's window. He does it again, and continues to, making sure he doesn't make too much noise. Meanwhile, in Squidward's house, Squidward has his clarinet in hand] Squidward: And now... for some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. [He starts to play. SpongeBob looks up and sees that Squidward is playing, so he decides to finish his stand quickly. Squidward looks out the window again.] Squidward: I thought I... Wha? SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents. Squidward: Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles. SpongeBob: Uh huh! Squidward: Oh, please! I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles? [Patrick is comes out of his house, stuck to the underside of the rock] Patrick: Good morning! [he falls and screams] Squidward: Oh, boy. [Patrick walks over to SpongeBob] SpongeBob: Good morning to you, sir. Would you care to blow a bubble? Patrick: Hmm, how much is it? SpongeBob: Only a quarter. Patrick: Sounds reasonable. [whispering] Uh, I'm going to need to borrow a quarter. SpongeBob: Sure thing, Patrick. [he pulls out a quarter and he gives it to Patrick] Patrick: Ah, one quarter. [he hands the quarter back to SpongeBob, and bites it to see if it's real] SpongeBob: Thank you. [cuts back to Squidward] Squidward: Hmm, business is booming. [he laughs] How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? Uh huh. [he continues playing. Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob dips the wand in the bubble soap] SpongeBob: One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go. [Patrick grabs the wand from SpongeBob, inhales deeply and begins to blow, but a bubble doesn't come out. He pants and blows again. After a while, SpongeBob puts up a "Lessons" sign. Patrick then loses his breath] Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25 cents. Patrick: Uh, very well, then. Hey, Sponge, can I borrow another quarter? [SpongeBob hands Patrick a quarter] Thanks. [he winks and hands the quarter back to SpongeBob] SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, it's all in the technique! [he starts doing his infamous routine] First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Theeeen PELVIC THRUST! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, Don't forget it! Now its time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [he blows bubbles shaped like ducks] Patrick: Oooh. [SpongeBob pops out of nowhere and blows a box. Patrick giggles and SpongeBob blows a caterpillar] Ah! [The caterpillar then pops one-by-one, with descending sounds. Patrick continues to giggle. SpongeBob blows a boat, and it floats off, pops, and makes a foghorn noise. Cuts to inside of Squidward's house] Squidward: Huh? [he shakes his clarinet. Cut back to outside with SpongeBob and Patrick] SpongeBob: And now... with two hands! [he inhales deeply and blows out an elephant. Circus music starts playing and Patrick laughs] Patrick: It's a giraffe! [Patrick continues laughing as the elephant floats over into Squidward's house. SpongeBob then frowns as the bubble pops and tons of smaller bubbles come out of both windows of the house while an elephant sounds. Squidward opens the door with a sour look on his face. SpongeBob and Patrick hide behind the stand. SpongeBob places a "Closed" sign on it. Squidward looks over the stand] SpongeBob: Excuse me, sir, but we are clo- Squidward: Don't give me any of that! How can you two possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles?! SpongeBob: We're not just blowing bubbles. We're making bubble art! Watch carefully. [he does his infamous routine again] First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Theeeen pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, Don't forget it! Now its time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [he blows a butterfly, which flies over to Squidward, lands on his head, and pops] Squidward: That's not art. That's just annoying. Blowing bubbles, that's the lamest idea I have ever heard. [SpongeBob and Patrick, now depressed, head to SpongeBob's house] You should be ashamed of yourselves. [SpongeBob closes the door as Squidward laughs to himself] Bubbles. [he continues laughing] Art. [he mumbles, and picks up the bubble wand, sniffs it, and inhales to blow. Then, SpongeBob pops up out of nowhere] SpongeBob: That'll be 25 cents, sir. Squidward: Ah, whoa, what? [SpongeBob blinks] Oh... who-who would pay 25 cents to blow bubbles? SpongeBob: We also offer lessons for beginners. [he puts the "Lessons" sign up] Squidward: Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble? [he pulls a quarter out] Here's your 25 cents! [SpongeBob bites it to see if its real and it bends] Watch and learn. [he inhales and blows, but nothing happens] Uhh... wait, wait, wait. [he inhales and blows again, but nothing happens again] One more time. Here. Wait. [he inhales and blows again, and a small bubble comes out and instantly falls to the ground and bursts, making a raspberry sound. Looks over at SpongeBob and Patrick. They gulp, and then start whistling. Squidward places another quarter on the stand] Uhh... Just a mere warm-up. [he dips the wand in the bubble container, inhales deeply and blows hard. The bubble falls to the ground again, making another raspberry sound, gets another quarter out and puts it on the stand] SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, remember the technique. [Squidward keeps trying to blow bubbles while SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to show him the technique] SpongeBob and Patrick: [while standing on one foot] Technique! Technique! Technique! Technique! Tech- [Squidward looks at them] SpongeBob: [weakly] You're not doing the technique. Patrick: Technique. Squidward: Technique? Technique!? Technique, technique, technique, technique, TECHNIQUE! [he starts to do the infamous routine, while imitating SpongeBob] First I do this, spin around. Stop. Double take three times. And here we go, pelvic thrust. Wehooooo! Wehoohoo! Oh, stop on your right foot, don't forget it. Then, bring it around town. And a little of this, a little of that, a little of this, this, this, this, that, that, that, that. And that, that, that that that that! And then... [Screams into the wand, blowing a gargantuan, unshaped bubble] SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow! [Squidward is then lifted off the ground. The bubble pops off the wand and Squidward falls back on the ground] SpongeBob: All right, Squid! That was so good! Patrick: Squid is number one! Squidward: I really did it, didn't I? Hey, you guys didn't blow anything like that! SpongeBob: No. Squidward: Now that's a bubble! SpongeBob: You said it, Squidward. See, it is all in the technique! Patrick: Yeah, technique. Squidward: Technique? Hah! SpongeBob, you don't think I created that [kisses his tentacle] beautiful work of art with your help? [he starts laughing] Come on, its in my genes. SpongeBob and Patrick: Squid's got genes! Squid's got genes! [Squidward walks back to his house] Squidward: Thank you, thank you, thank you. [he starts to play his clarinet. SpongeBob and Patrick chant Squidward's name. At one point, they belly flop each other and Patrick falls on the ground.] I rock. [Squidward continues to play his clarinet. As SpongeBob and Patrick continue to chant,
coolparkourman99 31 May, 2016 @ 12:27pm 
▉▉▉▉▉▉◤┳◥▉▉▉▉▉▉ You have been visited by the Loomynarty.
▉▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉▉
▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉ Copy and paste this on the walls of the 5
▉▉▉◤┳━┳━┳━┳◥▉▉▉
▉▉◤┳┃┈( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)┈┃┳◥▉▉most MLG m80s you know or you
▉◤┳┻╰━━━━━╯┻┳◥▉
◤┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳◥ will be qu1cksc0p3d by #FaZe Clan
GGDrumline 20 Apr, 2016 @ 6:07am 
Suck my ass
coolparkourman99 18 Jan, 2016 @ 7:47am 
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
jason18 16 Jan, 2016 @ 6:29pm 
I met this user once before when I was playing and he sounded upset, so I encouraged him and in response he added me as a friend. Over time the invitations to private lobbies grew until eventually I was also bombarded with voice chat requests from him. One day I answered it and I was met with a sob and a cry. In-between breaths he opened up to me about his personal problems, apparently being bullied every day at school and tormented by his older sisters at home. Taken back, I exchanged some words of comfort to him. But then it changed once again. He said he was unsure about his sexuality, telling me of how sometimes he was aroused by the bullies at school when they touched him. Eventually he wondered what it would be like to take it in the ass, so I contacted one of his sisters and asked if he could use her dildo. Last I heard of him, he had stuck it so far up his ass he ♥♥♥♥ all over the family cat and killed it - as he was trying to make it lick his balls at the same time
GGDrumline 2 Jan, 2016 @ 11:42pm 
♥♥♥♥ you, and everything that you love, I hope you have two beautiful children and that they have cancer and they dont outlive their parents so that you can watch your children die.
A$AP Schrader 21 Mar, 2015 @ 12:18pm 
+rep