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I'm Harambe, and this is my zoo enclosure. I work here with my zoo keeper and my friend, cecil the lion. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 17 years - you never know WHO is gonna come over that fence

Walking home and some guy bumps into me and instantly starts chatting ♥♥♥♥ to my face about aluminium being the best metal. I tried to stay calm and explained to him that iron was actually the best metal, but he wouldn’t take a hint. He just started throwing around words like “rust” and I lost it. Punched him right in his aluminium loving face. I HATE ALUMINUM SO MUCH

Guys please stop spamming. My dog, Bernard, looked at my chat and got so dizzy because of the spam that he fell down and hit his noggin right on his food bowl! He couldn't talk for hours. Please stop spamming, for Bernard

OMG 😱😱😱 BRO👬 CALM 😴😴 DOWN BRO ⬇️⬇️ SIMMER ☕️☕️ DOWN⬇️⬇️ U WANNA KNOW Y⁉️ BC 💁💁 IT WAS JUST A PRANK 😂😂😂 😛😜 HAHAHA GOT U 👌👌 U ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥ 😂😁😁THERE'S A CAMERA 📹📷 RIGHT OVER 👈👇👆☝️ THERE 📍U ♥♥♥♥♥ 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👐WE 👨‍👨‍👦 GOT U BRO👬. I BET U DIDNT 🙅🙅NOE 💆HOW 2⃣ REACT WHEN MY 🙋 BRO DESMOND 😎😎 CAME UP ⬆️ TO U AND 💦💦😫😫 JIZZED ALL OVER UR 👖👖 SWEET JEANS 😂😂 IT WAS SO FUNNY 😂😛😀😀😅 NOW U HAVE 🙋👅👅 SUM BABY👶👶 GRAVY 💦🍲 ALL OVER THEM ♥♥♥♥♥😵😵

It smells like a dorito factory in here. ~your mom