Thanks!

Can I have my family back please

Stop jerking off to my girlfriends on my profile. This is your last warning or else I am going to have to use my power on you!!!!!

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top player carried rank s games + rep

poop

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CYK BLYT

I'm 30, SNOWFLAKE. I own 5 companies in Texas and make a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of money. I pay taxes, workout, bang my wife like an animal, have healthy relationships and basically live like a ROCKSTAR without having to get on stage. I also have intelligence to look at both sides of an argument and figure out the real facts. Meanwhile, you are an average income (basically broke) "CSGO player" who blames people like me for your problems and shortcomings. Bottom line is that your parents spoiled your ass and you think you know it all. If you were my son I would slap the ♥♥♥♥ out of you.

Ball cleveage shorts should be a thing.

I feel like society is ready.

I can imagine all sorts of cool outfits that show off my ball cleveage, for the office, for the pool, weddings and any sort of occasion.

Wearing ball cleavage shorts will allow us men to use our assets to flirt with women who are in power in hopes of gaining some unfair advantage over those who are less endowed.

There would be "wonder shorts" which push the balls up front and accentuate the cleavage. Like diamonds on a pedestal.

There would be a little hole in the shorts to let the ball cleavage poke through

Hello again, I've noticed you have a new batch of sex machines and I am very interested in this one called Big Man Jeff. If it is currently in stock please contact me and we can arrange a payment.

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╔═╦╗╔╦═╦═╦╗╔╗ Put This On
║═╣║║║╔╣╔╣╚╝║ Your Steam ID if
║╔╣╚╝║║║║╚╗╔╝ You Are Or
╚╝╚══╩╝╚╝-.╚╝ Support Degeneracy! ♥

Listen, I know we got off on the wrong foot but... *sigh.* Look, I’m not really the type to ask for forgiveness, and I know I kind of was a little awkward earlier but, I really need a gf and I don’t want to squander my chance with you. I feel like I’m wasting my life. I’m like, 32 years old and I’ve never had a gf. My mom says she will throw me out if I don’t get one soon, so if you find it in your heart, at least let me take you to Kelsey’s or something for dinner, and we’ll go from there.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? if you REALLY want to die, tell me, I can help you❤️
If you want to talk or you need to talk tell me🖤🖤🖤

Cars 3 was the most beautiful movie i've ever seen, the plot was so good and the animations were so gorgeous that i fell in love with Sally. Her curves were perfect and her exhaust was so well designed, I knew she was made for me. As soon as the movie ended, I cleaned myself and i went to the car dealer and I asked him to make Sally in real life with a program that will make her act like in the movie. For the IA, I asked the NASA. With her and other Cars fan, we recreated the Piston Cup, I lost but then Sally made me happy by letting me fulfill her with fuel. Even now, after 4 years, I still love her and she loves me even more, I take care of her and she never had any failure.

haha 😂 look at me 👀 im a teenage girl 💁‍♀️ im wearing a nirvana shirt 🎤 im cool and grunge 😎 oh yeah i love nirvana 😍 my favorite song is smells 👃 like teen spirit haha xD xD i got this shirt from a pacsun ☀️ its from my favorite band 🙌 nirvana with kurt cobain and the other two guys 🤷🏻‍♂️🧑🏼🤷🏻‍♂️ its so sad kurt got murdered 🔪 by his wife courtney cox 😭😭😭

Ha, I've had sex. Unlike that sad obese neck beard, I've had many encounters with the opposite sex, models and actresses alike. People who cannot attract women are inferior and less intelligent. There is a reason some people will never reproduce. Survival of the fittest, I do MMA and I can lift 330lb while still being able to read books about quantum physics.

I have to go now, I've got a date with two lovely birds who cannot wait to to get on for a ride.😂 Chow!👌

The other day I Nae-naed my libertard history teacher so hard in class. She was saying something about gun or birth control (can't really remember which one) and I just stood up and said "facts don't care about your feelings, snowflake". My entire class looked at me and I seized the moment by doing my most epicest troll face and then I said "trololololololol haha owned" and sat back down. My liberal classmates were so shocked at how epic my roast was that nobody said anything for a solid 5 minutes and just looked at me! Haha when you troll a feminise leftiste amirite.

To 🙊be 😐honest 🙏NI🅱️🅱️AS with 👉👌L A R G E D O N G S 💯🍆 are pretty 🤷🏿‍♂️ GAY 👬 since they get 👌👌MORE DONG 🙊🍆 than the average 📈 dude 👱

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This is bob. Bob was born in the year 1993. He had always been a devout communist, Opposing big businesses which permeated the stock market.

His first major role on the internet was in 2009, Where he and his comrades would lead a guerrilla war against google+, With the stated aim of "taking over youtube".

While his campaign was initially unsuccessful, In November 2013 Bob managed to attain a new following of anti-google+ soldiers, Thanks to Google+'s renewed tyranny. However, He was becoming a senile man at the time, And later retired from public life.

Bob would go on to have 2 children:
Rory

[ ••]
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and Steven
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In June 2014, Bob was finally catched by google+, And he would at last be executed by the corporatist tyranny.
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What's good 😜 u candy cane ♥♥♥ guzzlers 👅🎄DICKCEMBER🎄 is here and u know what that means ❄ HOE HOE HOE season has arrived 🎅 put on your rudolph panties 🔴 pop ur peppermint ♥♥♥♥♥ 🍬 and sit by the fireplace with some hot COCKLATE 🍆☕if u want to get RAWED 👉👌 under the mistletoe 🌿 this christmAss 🎁 send this to 15 of your sluttiest elves 👩👨 if u get 0 back 😔 ur an UGLY GRINCH👀 if u get 5 back 😌 ur a SEXY SNOWMAN ⛄⛄if u get 10 back 😘 ur a BAD JINGLE BELL ♥♥♥♥♥ 🔥🙌 SHARE in 69 😉💦 seconds or you won't be gettin ♥♥♥♥♥♥ down 😱 in 2❕0❕1❕8

Hehey! Nice dude, can I join up your LoL stack for a bit? These last few matches have been sweet, queued up at the same time I guess and got two wins, so we might as well play together more! Yeah, my friend actually went to the tribunal and got a lifetime ban. Guy named ‘tikibird’, works with me. Always says the SPERGIEST ♥♥♥♥, asks me to call him ‘peanut arbuckle’, ‘gogo nuts.’ Walked in on him talking to his girlfriend and I’m pretty sure he’s abusive too. Come to think of it, he’s not really my friend, but I guess I have no one to play with now that he’s banned. Anyway, hit me up if you ever wanna do a few matches, you seem like a good player!

^u^ hey, you play csgo too??? o3o yeah, my boyfriend got me into the game a while ago :0 you should totally join my female cs squad! we’re all dmg so it’ll be pretty tough ‘_’ but I’m sure you’re ready for the challenge ;)

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♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥... I mean yeah, I'd ♥♥♥♥ Santa Claus. He's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' Santa Claus. Look, I mean if I was at a party and out of nowhere Santa comes up to me and asks if I wanna ♥♥♥♥, what am I gonna do, say "no"? He's the Spirit of Christmas for ♥♥♥♥♥ sake! I'd grin and bear it, for good ol' Saint Nick. Would I enjoy it? Probably not, I ain't gay. But then again if Santa can magically shoot up chimneys maybe he could fly up my ass? I mean I dunno man, I like assplay as much as the next guy, but you gotta draw the line somewhere. This ain't the prison showers, you know. But, still, if it was for Santa I think I'd be able to do it.

LISTEN N00B if you cheat against me one more ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ time on CSGO I'm going to call up my guy redhat bandit and he's going to ruin your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ life. The FBI, CIA, CSIS, they're all after my boy redhat but he's juking all of them, even killed Hillary during the election to prove he was 2 steps ahead. Now he's gonna come hack your router until it explodes and shorts out the pacemaker wedged in your fat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chest from all the big macs you eat.

You're gonna regret it if you cheat ONE MORE TIME WTF DUDE SERIOUSLY STOP CHEATING ON CSGO IM SO MAD I WILL KNOCK YOU OFFLINE AAAAAAA

You 👈 pedophilaphobes 👶 are 🔢 literally 👋 no 🙅 different 😡 than 👉 than 👉 the 👏 homophobes 🏳️‍🌈 of 💦 the 👏 90s 📟 or 💁 the 👏 racists of 💦 the 👏 50s. You 👈 are 🔢 literally 👋 that 😐 old 👴 pedophilaphobe 👶 sitting 💺 in 👏 your 👏 rocker telling 🏃 your 👏 grandchildren 👦 "It just 👏 ain't 🙅 right" while 🕗 all 💯 your 👏 grandchildren 👦 cringe away 😐 and 👏 look 👀 embarrassed. This 👈 is 💦 the 👏 future 📅 and 👏 the 👏 sooner you 👈 accept it 💯 the 👏 faster 🍑 we 👥 can 💦 start 🔘 colonizing the 👏 stars 🔯 with 👏 the 👏 future 📅 Transgendered 🏳️‍🌈 Muslim 👳 African 👨🏿‍🚀 Astronauts. You 👈 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 👉 disgusting 😷 pedophilaphobe. 👶

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Look ♥♥♥♥♥♥, I know you can make toast and ♥♥♥♥ but I'm the real culinary expert. I remember last time you came over you tried to make me and my gf omlettes and ♥♥♥♥ but you gave her food poisoning. Like, I was fine with you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the mix but you didn't cook it propperly and that's not cool. I heard that the breakfast you made her after what you guys did last night wasn't up to standard either, those waffles didn't look good.

Look man, after you ♥♥♥♥ my GF, I'll make you guys breakfast before going to work, I can't have my angel and her bull eating substandard food, OKAY!!!! I'M A MAN AND I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN!

Sorry that my heard of blacks got out and ate all the grass off your lawn. I'd love to repay you at least 4btc, but I heard that you got into etherium mining and I don't think I could convert without violating the NAP.

Want kind of dumbass breaks his phone? lmao!

I miss smiley

I'm loving the fidget spinner suprise egg you sent me my man thanks a million

A female, on le Reddit? Hang on fellas I got this!
Tips fedora brim over eyes to give an aura of mystery and glides up to you on my light up heelies
H-hi m'lady, would you perhaps consider being my qt 3.14 gf? snickers nefariously /thinks to self/ "man if this works, I'll get this cute girl to be my girlfriend and I'll ride the cool roller coasters!"
c'mon, luck be a lady tonight! cross fingers and gulps s-so...adjusts collar and looks firmly what do you say to my proposal? waits patiently :3
Plzrespond, I'm a nice guy who will treat you right unlike all those other ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who only care about looks!
Don't ignore me you rancid swine, I knew it #niceguys finish last! You're probably out having dinner with Chad now!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I love this song 😄😄😄😅😆😆😆😀😀😀😃😃😎😎🤗🤗🤗😊😊🙄🙄🙄
i can bet ayo & teo is buying youtube views from A U T H E N T I C HITS D O T C O M

So he ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stole my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fidget spinner and took off to the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bathroom right So I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ come upstairs to take a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dump to see that HE LITERALLY JERKED OFF ON MY FIDGET SPINNER AND LEFT IT HERE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ $6 ♥♥♥ rag I think NOT. Someone's about to be sent to the ward for some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ help. This is why I hate all men, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pigs won't let women be happy. Im disgusted.

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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I porn surfed, weak and weary. Over many a strange and spurious site of hot xxx galore. While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning. And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amor. "Tis not possible!" I muttered, "Give me back my free hardcore!" Quoth the server... "404"

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Once i watched hentai for about 3 hours..... I somewhat loved it, it made me feel very special. The girls there had really, im talking about REAAALLY big AAASSSSS TITTIOES. I didnt even jack off... i was just watching it for fun. But for real tho,,,, let me get a key fam thanks brotha man

Look man, you have to stop making fun of me for loving Family Guy. Every time you go on my favourite FG message boards and say "Family Guy is for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ moronic spastic ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" I get so mad that I lose it. I've punched holes in walls, doors, and monitors, and often my sister has to come console me, especially after mom died during one of my outbursts that YOU triggered last year.

Seriously, stop making fun of FG. It's a cool show, and we can resolve this peacefully! I really don't wanna see anymore bloodshed or property damage over this! Nyeheheh!

Hey guys I'm not gay, I play football. I accidentally clicked this profile because I thought my mouse was hovered over the hot girls profile. Well, since I'm here I had a question let's say hypothetically I had gay thoughts (lol yea right) and I found my close friend attractive (ew gross) and one day we had sex in the back of my car after football practice (I would puke...the only thing I bang is chicks with big tits you know what I'm saying lol) but we didn't kiss. Would that be gay? We were wasted and while we were banging we kept calling each other ♥♥♥♥. It's almost like a parody of when we bang chicks (remember this didn't happen). So that wouldn't make me gay right? Just a jokester?

Look man, you have to stop making fun of me for loving wizards of waverly place. Every time you go on my favourite WoWP message boards and say "Waverly is for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" I get so mad that I lose it. I've punched holes in walls, doors, and monitors, and often my sister has to come console me, especially after mom died during one of my outbursts that YOU triggered last year.

Seriously, stop making fun of WoWP. It's a cool show, and we can resolve this peacefully! I really don't wanna see anymore bloodshed or property damage over this!

Ghille suit? More like 🌶 Chili 🌶 Suit!

Come down to Chili's for the release of playerunknown's battlegrounds for a half price meal if you bring us a screenshot of your win

Not a bad game, really. Has a great in-build integrated server hosting/joining system, so it doesn't nead virtual LAN software or anything. Pretty funny, and deffinately worth it for a buck. If you play it for an hour, and skip buying a coke, you'll break even and have enjoyed your time.

Look at this whale right here. Notice anything?

Look again, now do you see anything out of the ordinary? Of course you don't.

See, this whale has been radicalized by isis propaganda videos on the internet. Soon, this whale will be taking a flight to Iraq, as the immigration ban has been blocked, and will learn how to purchase and smuggle explosives and firearms into the west.

"But he's white?!" You might ask. Yes, he is, but that doesn't mean anything. Anyone can be radicalized. Be aware, be vigilant.