I was playing Super Mario Galaxy on my black Nintendo Wii. It was very nostalgic, seeing the red plumber funny man jump from one ball to the other. Suddenly, Mario was crushed by a boulder. "No worries" i thought, expecting the Italian big boy to get back up just like that. My expectations were not met. Once the boulder rolled off Mario, it was revealed that he had been crushed. This happens normally, but this particular sight was disturbing. Mario had been crushed into a flat, bloody, meaty, saucy, gory Italian pancake, or as the Italian's would say, a pizza pie. He was covered in hyper realistic blood. He screamed a bloodcurdling Italian scream, it was very sad and scary. Rosalina came and she had white eyes which were crying blood. She said in an oddly masculine voice "You r next gamer >:(" and then my black Nintendo Wii shut off on it's own. A moment later, it turned back on and the only thing on my computer was the text "TURN AROUND" and so i did. I saw the bloody Mario pancake pizza, the white-eyed Rosalina, and Luigi.

This happened three days ago, and I've been paranoid since. I threw out my black Nintendo Wii out out of fear that it is haunted.

Then on Tuesday morning, like 3 am, it all went to hell. Suddenly, buff Waluigi comes out of my TV. He also is covered in hyper realistic blood. He holds up my copy of Super Mario Galaxy for the Nintendo Wii that i had been playing on my black Nintendo Wii, as well as my copy of Super Mario Galaxy 2 also for the Nintendo Wii. He said in a very Waluigi-esque yet deeper voice

"Every copy of Super Mario Galaxy is personalized"

He then proceeded to beat me to a bloody pulp. I was crying for help, but help didn't come. Waluigi then ran out of my house, not before grabbing my toaster. The bloody Mario pancake pizza reappeared. He spoke in his bloody funny Italian accent voice "This is what you get for being a gamer, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dork haha" he said before waddling away. I was left there, crying my eyes out and coughing up realistic blood (because it's real life) and bawling my eyes out.

Then, a bright light shone upon me. I stared in awe and looked. Into my room through the light stepped Shigeru Miyamoto, the creator of Mario and some other stuff no one cares about. He extended his hand and in perfect English said "Come with me". I followed him into the light, and he brought me to Nintendo HQ. He brought me through the front door, and led me to none other than Doug Bowser. I walked up to Bowser in hopes of shaking hands with him. I extended mine and said "H-Hello Mr. Bowser". He looked at me and smiled, then extended his hand, i was excited to shake his hand. "lol no" he says before slapping my hand away, then slapping my face. Shigechi Miyamoto then threw me out of the building, onto the pavement, splitting my skull open in half. I laid there, just kinda done with life after experiencing all this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

As i laid there, Luigi appeared. He just stood there. "What?" i asked him rather annoyed. He said nothing. He did nothing. Luigi did nothing. I started getting scared. I felt my heart sinking. I found it hard to breathe. I was dying. Luigi was killing me by doing absolutely nothing. I died. My body laid there in front of Nintendo HQ, rotting.

My soul forever haunts Nintendo HQ.


Moral of the story: Do not play Super Mario Galaxy for the Nintedo Wii on your black Nintendo Wii. Play Mario Strikers: Charged instead.