so deep

Before playing Sex With Stalin I was disillusioned with life, my wife had left me and had taken everything from me, my dignity, my pride, my house, my money...I had nothing, I was no one. Deeply depressed and dissuaded from carrying on this burden that life had laid upon me. I purchased for 2 US dollars Sex With Stalin which I then promptly played on my Lenovo G550 which was the only thing my wife didn't take from in the divorce settlement. When loading the game I had this feeling of intense excitement, I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into the narrative masterpiece that is Sex With Stalin.

Once the game had finally loaded after about 3 minutes, I began my conversation with the infamous Joseph Stalin and was immediately intrigued about this absolute hunk of a man. His gelatinous belly jutting out before him, his big bushy mustache being a symbol of his absolute authority over his people, his striking uniform gleaming in the light. Needless to say, I was hooked. We began our conversation and discussed the problems with his nation and along the way we became what you could call "butt buddies" if you get what I mean. There was one issue though, when the dictator removed his trousers, he unsheathed A CIRCUMCISED ♥♥♥♥?????

"No no no" I thought "there is no way Joseph Stalin could be a Jew". I began to delve into the research, years upon years of classified Soviet documentation, military reports, reports on the big man himself, anything and everything that could tell me if he was a jew or not. I traveled to Russia many-a-time and broke into government institutions attempting to find secret Soviet documents. Then, I found it. Joseph Stalin's birth certificate after many years of digging and trying to find out his secret. And now I'm about to unveil the secret to you all.

It reveals that he was DEFINITELY NOT a jew and that he was a GREAT AND GLORIOUS LEADER WHOM EVERYONE LOVED and the KGB is DEFINITELY NOT HOLDING MY FAMILY HOSTAGE ONLY WILLING TO LET THEM GO IF I SPEAK OF COMRADE STALIN IN A POSITIVE LIGHT. Ahem, anyway. Good game, you get to ♥♥♥♥ Stalin (kind of, sort of)

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