Dude's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 11:13am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 9:11pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 9:11pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2018 @ 3:09pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 10:24am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2019 @ 11:51am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 9:11pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2018 @ 3:09pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2018 @ 4:12pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2018 @ 2:33pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2018 @ 6:21pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2018 @ 2:15pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2018 @ 10:38pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2019 @ 6:14pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2018 @ 1:40pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2018 @ 6:14pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2019 @ 11:36am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2018 @ 2:09pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2019 @ 11:29am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2019 @ 10:34pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2018 @ 4:09pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2018 @ 10:31am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2018 @ 1:57pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 9:11pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 23 Dec, 2018 @ 4:38pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2018 @ 8:49am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2019 @ 3:54pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2019 @ 11:53am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2019 @ 5:12pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2019 @ 4:28pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2019 @ 4:28pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2019 @ 10:49pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 6:28pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2018 @ 10:33am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2018 @ 8:09am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2018 @ 1:49pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2018 @ 3:09pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2018 @ 3:09pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 9:11pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 9:11pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 10:22am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2018 @ 8:50am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2018 @ 5:55pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 9:11pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2018 @ 3:55pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 5:10pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2018 @ 1:51pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2018 @ 4:31pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 9:11pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2018 @ 11:23am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2018 @ 5:57pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2019 @ 4:58pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2018 @ 3:52pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2019 @ 10:45pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2019 @ 3:19pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2019 @ 10:43pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2020 @ 11:15am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2020 @ 10:40pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 23 Jul, 2020 @ 10:14pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2019 @ 2:52pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2020 @ 9:51am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2020 @ 10:37pm

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2020 @ 7:43pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2020 @ 11:13am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2020 @ 9:56am

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2020 @ 2:00pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2018 @ 3:09pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

12 / 30

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

5 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

26 / 30