11 BOOMSHOOTS OUT OF 10: EMBRACING THE SLAYER'S NEW (OLD?) ERA

DOOM: THE DARK AGES - A PASSIONATE REVIEW

Sometimes a game comes along that makes you feel like your heart's pounding in time with the soundtrack, like every note and beat is synced with your pulse, your hands gripping the mouse and keyboard like you're one bad move away from oblivion.

And then, there's the other kind of game...

The unrelenting, unfaltering, bloodied, sand-grit teeth. Sweat in my mouth. Fire in my feet. A primal urge surging through my veins, every fiber of my being screaming! KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL!

DOOM: THE DARK AGES IS THAT GAME.

It's a brutal, unapologetic thud. A war cry wrapped in medieval brutality and thrash metal. The critics can say whatever they want... ♥♥♥♥ them.

This game is raw, unfiltered, and utterly ♥♥♥♥♥♥' fearless.

AND YEP. I LIKE IT.

DANCING ON YOUR BONES, BONE MAN!

When you step into the ruined lands of Argent D'Nur, it’s straight into the fire. A clamor of steel, a growl from the pits of Hell, and you’re in it. The combat seizes your attention, throttling you with wave after wave of demonic carnage. Fast, unrelenting, and unforgiving. Every encounter is a declaration that hesitation means death.

It’s more than just mowing down demons. It’s the rhythm... the gruesome, almost ritualistic dance of dodging, parrying, and striking. Every movement is a savage step, a brutal thunderous beating of sinew under boot, each kill timed to the primal cadence of war drums and distorted guitars. When you land a perfectly timed flail strike and send a demon’s skull bouncing off the blood-soaked ground, not a victory... it’s a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ war cry. DOOM doesn't want you to win... it wants you to SLAY.

And let me be clear: I played on Nightmare with the parry window turned all the way down and the music cranked up to 100. That's probably the sweet spot.

id - fix that. Hotfix the game, right now. Set that Music mix to 100, I swear on Novik's noggin' someone screwed up and forgot to set the mix high. The music is fantastic. I'll cover that momentarily. However. I'll let the gameplay speak for itself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnjQRyPFRgc

METAL AND MADNESS

The music is the soul of a DOOM game. The blood pumping through its veins, the furious heartbeat of every battle, the roar of the Slayer himself channeled through shredding guitars and war drums. One moment that stands out is during the track From Ashes, where the grim, resonant chords layer over relentless war drums, crafting a soundscape that feels like marching through Hell itself. Then there’s Battle on Blackened Tide, a sweeping composition where the metallic riffs clash with a haunting chorus, evoking a battlefield turned graveyard. And Unchained Predator? It's got BFG Division energy dude. The driving force of its rhythm syncs perfectly with your rampage. Each. Thud. Slap. Shot. Roar. Scream. Each. BAR. HITS.

The soundtrack pulls from its arsenal with the same raw intensity as the Slayer himself. Just as The Dark Ages encourages sticking with a weapon class to dominate every encounter, each track feels like it could tear through an army on its own. The music saunters forward into the battle, leads it, charging ahead like a brutal vanguard. Each track hammers home the sense of unending battle... a primal scream wrapped in distortion and fury. The way the chants cut through the metallic cacophony is almost ceremonial... a dark hymn to slaughter. This isn’t simply a game soundtrack, it's got serious 'ooph' to it. It keeps coming back, whether in game or on spotify. Half the time, listening to the music makes me want to go play.

I'm going to be contrary to what the others are saying here, there's not a miss in the whole batch.

WEIRD

There’s a beauty in how shamelessly The Dark Ages embraces its over-the-top, gothic lore. It doesn’t waste time pondering the absurdity... it leans into it with a smirk and a bloodied gauntlet. This game knows what it is: a power fantasy in a world where power is the only law. You’re not here to uncover deep metaphors or intricate plots. You’re here to unleash hell, on hell, and the story has the good sense to get out of your way.

But... just because DOOM has never been known for its deep lore doesn’t mean it’s absent. For those of us who still message Tom Hall about a leather-bound DOOM Bible, there’s actually some great storytelling here. The lore is woven through the collectibles, the environment, and those who bother to dig deeper. The Dark Ages respects that legacy while pushing its own brutal narrative forward.

And this time, we’re finally getting glimpses into the deeper lore that’s always felt just out of reach. We learn more about Novik and his Knight Sentinels... the proud, iron-clad warriors who fought the unholy legions long before the Slayer’s ascension. Their faith, their devotion, and the cracks showing in their beliefs as the Maykrs’ deception becomes apparent... even this far back... are woven through the brutal narrative. And then there’s Thira, a warrior who doesn’t just channel power... she channels Crash energy (yes, that Crash... the Doom Girl from Quake 3, the one who taught the Slayer everything he knows).

I heard one reviewer make a He-Man comparison as if that was a bad thing. Like, seriously? It’s DOOM. You’re the biggest, baddest force in the universe. Have fun for once.

DOOM ISN'T ETERNAL; BUT IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE

Some fans are stuck comparing The Dark Ages to DOOM Eternal. That’s missing the point. DOOM isn’t about a fixed formula, it’s about that visceral feeling, the thrill of pushing forward no matter the odds. Eternal is the dance of the blades; Dark Ages is the thundering war march. Stop comparing and start feeling.

DOOM IS A FEELING, NOT A FORMULA

When you try to break DOOM down into mechanics and numbers, you lose the heart of it. You lose the fury. You lose the Slayer. The Dark Ages isn’t about dissecting systems or seeking balance... it’s about charging into Hell’s maw with fire in your veins. It’s about daring the demons to come at you, fully knowing they don’t stand a chance.

It's about being literally too angry to ♥♥♥♥♥♥' die.

This is DOOM distilled. I love you all.

STAND AND FIGHT.

RIP AND TEAR.