"Dota 2: My Love-Hate Relationship with a Digital Existence"

Rating: ★★★★☆

After 12,000 hours of Dota 2, I've come to realize that my life is divided into two eras: "Before Dota" and "After Dota." It's like B.C. and A.D., but with more flaming and fewer pyramids.

Pros:

- I can now calculate complex algebraic equations in my head, but I can't remember my best friend's birthday.
- My reflexes are so sharp that I can deny my morning coffee before the enemy midlaner gets their bottle.
- I've learned more Russian swear words than actual Russian vocabulary.
- Whenever I hear "Radiant victory!" I feel like I've won a life achievement.

Cons:

- I've aged 10 years in the span of 3.
- My keyboard looks like it survived a spaghetti explosion.
- My therapist insists that "gg" does not mean "good game" but rather "get a grip."
- I have more "friends" in the game than in real life, which is both comforting and alarming.
- The game itself is like that roller coaster at the theme park. You're excited to get on, but halfway through, you're begging for it to stop, and by the end, you're already in line for the next ride.

To prospective players: Dota 2 is like an abusive relationship. It'll chew you up and spit you out, but you'll keep coming back, thinking, "Maybe this time, it'll be different." Spoiler alert: it won't.

In conclusion, I'd recommend Dota 2 to anyone looking to master the art of frustration, patience, and self-loathing, all while having a laugh with a bunch of strangers from around the world. Just don't forget to unplug and hug a real-life tree once in a while. You'll need it.

Overall rating: ★★★★☆

"Dota 2: My Love-Hate Relationship with a Digital Existence" Rating: ★★★★☆ After 12,000 hours of Dota 2, I've come to realize that my life is divided into two eras: "Before Dota" and "After Dota." It's like B.C. and A.D., but with more flaming and fewer pyramids. Pros: - I can now calculate complex algebraic equations in my head, but I can't remember my best friend's birthday. - My reflexes are so sharp that I can deny my morning coffee before the enemy midlaner gets their bottle. - I've learned more Russian swear words than actual Russian vocabulary. - Whenever I hear "Radiant victory!" I feel like I've won a life achievement. Cons: - I've aged 10 years in the span of 3. - My keyboard looks like it survived a spaghetti explosion. - My therapist insists that "gg" does not mean "good game" but rather "get a grip." - I have more "friends" in the game than in real life, which is both comforting and alarming. - The game itself is like that roller coaster at the theme park. You're excited to get on, but halfway through, you're begging for it to stop, and by the end, you're already in line for the next ride. To prospective players: Dota 2 is like an abusive relationship. It'll chew you up and spit you out, but you'll keep coming back, thinking, "Maybe this time, it'll be different." Spoiler alert: it won't. In conclusion, I'd recommend Dota 2 to anyone looking to master the art of frustration, patience, and self-loathing, all while having a laugh with a bunch of strangers from around the world. Just don't forget to unplug and hug a real-life tree once in a while. You'll need it. Overall rating: ★★★★☆