Captain Jed
The True Hero Of Antelope's Run
 
 
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I'm old. Leave me alone to tend my lawn. Please.

Also, I'm a self proclaimed checkers champion. Bow before me, chess cucks.
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3:11 AM - Colonel Space Helicopters: i stapled a watch to my wall

vega: steam rp you first
vega: I'm gay
vega: I'm gay too
vega: let's be friends
vega: I want to be more than friends

4:30 PM - Captain Jed: give me something cringy
4:30 PM - vega: give me something cringy
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149 Hours played
Wow. This is an odd one. Completely different to other stuff I've covered in the past, if you've seen my previous reviews. Or if any of them still exist.
Nonetheless, I decided to give this a shot after a one night bender.

It seriously didn't disappoint. Let me give you a quick list of pro/con stuff.



Pros:

- Incredible post-apocalyptic Stalker-ish vibes. To my knowledge and in line with what's been explained to me, this game was originally known as 'Stalker Online', but has since branched out beyond that name. It seriously shows in all the best ways.

- Teamplay is encouraged, but not required.

- Massive open areas of terrain that are both fun to explore, and aren't hard on the eyes.

- Gunplay is satisfactory, with little to complain about. Bullets do what bullets should, and recoil isn't absurd. It just feels awesome at times when it should, and doesn't dissapoint otherwise.

- The 'grind' is very little, if you know what you're doing, or you've buddies to play with.

- Has a wide variety of gameplay styles available to potential players, new or old.

- You don't have your hand held through quests. If you enjoy having a bit of a puzzle, or just don't like modern story telling in video games, you'll enjoy this aspect. For the most part, at least; you'll understand reading further.

- - -
Cons:

- Looks like the lovechild of Warcraft and Aion Online, when it comes to anything other than equipment and firearms, in terms of graphical quality. (Only a downside if you're a snob about graphics, IMO.)

- A few fun mini areas are locked behind having squads, as they require two or more people to participate in.

- In game purchases are, primarily, only cosmetic. However, there's a few outliers that allow players to gain an 'advantage', if they wish to pay to progress. It's not required, but it stings at times to know that you could save a bit of time by just shilling out a few dollars. You can't pay for an advantage, however, which is great.

- Staged PVP games are very hard to get, with competitive gameplay in these staged games even rarer. This isn't in regards to open world PVP, which is something that can happen at any moment, and is incredibly fun at times.

- When a man says "Go to roughly H3-2, and find EXAMPLE", you better have read what he stated, or pray to god that translations are accurate in the journal. That brings us to the next issue.

- Not frequently, but common enough to mention: Odd progression. Getting a Tula just outside of the starting area, but waiting afterwards a bit to get a Mosin if you don't know what questlines to follow. Stuff of that sort.

- TRANSLATIONS. This game was translated from Russian to English, and it shows. They're by no means awful, unreadable or anything of the sort, but they could do with some improvement. It looks awful for your game to have translations incorrect for even the most basic of things, including stuff in the tutorial level.

- Lastly, though most importantly, this game suffers from bugs. It's what we call 'Slav Jank'. If you're familiar with that term, you'll understand what I mean. If not... well, expect the following:
- Graphical flickering.
- Occasionally getting stuck in odd terrain. (Can be solved by typing /IWannaDie in the chat.)
- Odd creature spawns. (Dog inside fallen tree, forsaken inside thin wall, etc.)
- Parts of the interface being unclickable at times in borderless windowed. (Chat box tabs flickering, etc.)
- You will question if your graphics card went kaput mid gameplay session. (Just restart the game.)
- NPCs having odd dialogue / dialogue that leads in circles. (Likely from the aforementioned translations.)



Once I get a reasonable number of hours in this game, and feel like I can expand further, I'll update this review. For now, if you're looking for something to pass the time, and have a few buddies to play with, I suggest picking this up.

Even if you've no lads that are willing to play alongside you, it makes for a fun time.
l33t <3 4 Jun @ 5:01pm 
im sorry to bother you i want you to ask about those 2 files from project zomboid u told like 4 years ago in steam community hub. By any chance do you still have them?
del 12 Dec, 2017 @ 4:16pm 
-rep got his legs blown off in hue city
del 12 Dec, 2017 @ 4:13pm 
-rep ass so fat he got stuck in the VC tunnel
del 12 Dec, 2017 @ 2:22pm 
-rep gi won't go home
del 29 Nov, 2017 @ 6:26pm 
How dare you say that to communism? What has communism ever done to you? As a matter of fact, Communism enforces equal rights, So if you hate communism you are a homophobe. It's clear that your nostalgia for capitalism has brainwashed you to the point where you actively reject all alternatives, You transphobic bigot. As i am speaking right now i am calling my secret network of commies across russia to trace your netvalue so you better prepare for the crash, Capitalist, The crash that destroys the pathetic thing you call your money. You're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bankrupt, Kid, I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Russia Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ♥♥♥♥.
manuelnascar@aol.com 19 Jan, 2017 @ 2:08pm 
angry minge with angry attitude -rep scares me