Recent reviews by We Speak Texan

Buy this on X-Box 360 for £10, sell to weed dealer for £25 worth of weed, then rebuy for £9 on ♥♥♥ = £6 profit?

OOO EDGY HEY THATS PRETTY GUD LOL DANK MEMES

Pretty good, funky soundtrack, simplistic gameplay though not much substance pretty entertaining for a while, worth the price I guess?

What a terrible game, hard to believe the same people that made the masterpiece that is Counter Strike Global Offensive made this piece of trash, I mean honestly pretty sure Valve just saw the success Garrys Mod had and was like now its our turn to turn the valve at headquaters and chug out this piece of trash they call First Person Adventure, I mean seriously they ripped the character models and even the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ maps STRAIGHT OUT OF GARRYS MOD, the story here is completley void, typical "ALIENS INVADED US AND ONLY THIS RANDOM DUDE THAT PROBERABLY HAS AUTISM BECAUSE HE CANT EVEN SPEAK A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WORD TO ANYBODY THAT TALKS TO HIM CAN SAVE US" seriously Valve get your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ together and if you even make a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Half Life 3 I will have lost my faith in the gaming industry and humanity in general. Fat piece of ♥♥♥♥ jew gaben ♥♥♥♥ you. 0/10 Waste of 6 hours I would rather hook up with the fat lady that has downsyndrome and sits around in her mobility scooter hanging around the liquor store on my street screaming at strangers for help unscrewing the child safety lid off her ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cough syrup ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

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Most toxic community in gaming
You do something wrong somebody flames you for it
You do something right somebody flames you for it
Your team will disintergrate from the inside out about 80% of the time win or lose
If you play public matches your best bet is to mute everybody and try que with people you know
Play European servers to expierence what it is like to be a Jew in Moscow or a goat in Mexico cause your gonna get abused by a bunch of russians and then ♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the ass by a retarded mexican and neither of these people hows not english ver god much bad communicationss
Still in terms of gameplay its better than LoL and anybody who says otherwise is proberably an in the closet homosexual

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 25, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because this game gave me cancer anyway.

OK, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROAT ACHE

"Standing around like a couple of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiots waiting for some psychopath to cave our skulls in"
Best stealth game of all time, lovers of gore and dark atmosphere look no further.

Pee on a dog, dog bites ♥♥♥♥, now piss blood 7/10