Mondays I floss falcons.

Tuesdays are for the pigeon's molars — they don't scream, but they judge.

Wednesdays I polish the royal toilet. Not because I must — because I believe.

Thursdays I consult geese. They bring charts. I bring snacks.

Do not ask about the bidet summit. The doves are still recovering.

I once crowned a magpie with a bottlecap and he made me Minister of Bark.

I dream in eggshell white.

You will too.