Mayonnaise is a goopy white substance that tastes nasty. People who eat it are weird, especially those who eat it out of the jar. I can only tolerate it when it is mixed extensively with other foods and condiments, such as tuna, mustard, ketchup, etc. I will fight any with Mayo in their hands.

Dear Samuel C.C. Pissy Boy Poggerson

Happy Birthday!!!

I hope you drink more pee and look at more feet

-Me