Winky 💔ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2018 @ 2:28pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2018 @ 2:34pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 3:35pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 9:49am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2018 @ 6:51am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2018 @ 7:06am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 8 Jun, 2018 @ 2:31pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 6:14am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 3:27pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2018 @ 6:54am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2021 @ 11:04am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2021 @ 2:04pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2021 @ 12:10pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2021 @ 6:06am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 2:44pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2018 @ 5:38am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 12 Jun, 2021 @ 3:21pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2021 @ 11:59am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2018 @ 6:43am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2018 @ 6:08am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2021 @ 12:04pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2021 @ 12:22pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2021 @ 9:26am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 2:50pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2021 @ 11:59am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2021 @ 8:33am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2018 @ 6:40am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2021 @ 1:11pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2021 @ 10:36am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 3:48pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 2:43pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2021 @ 10:14am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2021 @ 12:04pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2021 @ 12:37pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2018 @ 8:38am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2018 @ 7:09am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 2:37pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 8 Jun, 2018 @ 2:50pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2018 @ 2:53pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2018 @ 7:25am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2021 @ 8:21am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 3:01pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 2:39pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 9:24am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2018 @ 3:30pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2021 @ 12:00pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2021 @ 2:06pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 24 Dec, 2023 @ 3:37pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2021 @ 12:17pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2021 @ 9:21am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

9 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

3 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30