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My Short Review of "The Witness"

What makes The Witness a sublime game is that the mechanics continue to build upon themselves in profound ways. However, going into more detail about the WAYS in which these continue to expand and evolve really would spoil the experience.

I am willing to say is the following:

1) Despite how it may first appear, it isn't all just simple line puzzles on series of monitors about "connecting the dots." This mechanic forms the heart of the game, but it develops beyond that in really cool ways. These include expanding out into the world surrounding the puzzles so that the game and the world work in symbiosis.

2) It's going to push you to constantly re-examine the assumptions you've made about how the game plays and maybe even larger assumptions about the way you think in general, about the limitations of human perception and the way we make meaning. I can say that of very few games.

Very few puzzle games are of the caliber of the Witness. I've put about 20 hours into it thus far and I would rank it with the likes of Portal. It's going for something very different tonally (The Witness is austere where Portal is satirical), but it is that caliber of puzzle game and similarly highly unique.

And that's not to mention the aesthetics of the world it establishes. It's a beautiful world with shades of Myst. Imagine the ambling about the lost city of Pompey with a proliferation of pastel coloring at every angle. And it has a polish goes goes all the way down to the satisfying "thump" when you lock a puzzle in place or the ping when you query the cursor. This isn't a cheaply made thing. It is a thing made with the type of loving care to detail that is very rare. There's no jankiness or weird graphical glitches or animation hitches we've come to expect with modern game design's growing pains anywhere to be seen. Nothing but a high caliber sheen.

I would just like to end by discussing the supposedly controversial price point of the "The Witness." If you are someone who plays games but doesn't think this game is worth $40 then there are really only two possible explanations:

1) You have not played it yet and don't realize you are profoundly wrong. Profoundly.

2) You are a very stupid person.

In the first case, allow this review to inspire you to give it a shot. In the second case, you are likely too dumb to appreciate this game anyway and someone should probably come and take that $40 away from you before you accidentally shove it up your nostrils and suffocate in your idiot confusion over trying to use your mouth as a breathing apparatus.

Beautiful, intuitive puzzle design combed with great aesthetics and a sharp narrative about the nature of ideological certainty.

JazzPunk attempts a Naked Gun style videogame parody, but for me it fell entirely flat. I grinned at only one joke through the entire hour long experience, and I rolled my eyes a lot at far too easy non-sequiturs and lame puns. Like Naked Gun, this game tries to throw a lot at the wall in rapid fire succession in hopes of winning you over. But unfortunately, it lacks Naked Gun's energy. Due to the very nature of slower paced interactive narratives, the "jokes" are dwelled on for longer than they should be, long enough for you to realize that they are mostly only half jokes to begin with and lack any real punchline. It's hard to find much for me to recommend here. I know that humor by it's very nature is subjective, but this game in general just strikes me as too lazy. 1/5

A Bird's Story is less of a game and more of an interactive short story. But anyone who has played To The Moon, the creator's previous work, knows that this is not necessarily grounds for criticism. Any fan of classic 16bit Japanese RPGs could tell you that simpler graphics, animations and musical phrases, when used correctly, take on a metaphoric quality that can be more effective at communicating concepts and emotions than the most detailed scripts, character models, animations, and fully orchestrated scores ever could.

This is a director who demonstrates not only an understanding of this type of restraint, but a mastery of its employment. Here, as in To the Moon, Kan Gao is able to get a lot of mileage out of lovingly drawn 16 bit pixel art and a beautiful miminalistic piano score.

A Bird's Story is a much simpler narrative than To The Moon, but it is no less elegant. It is a deeply sentimental story, but also one with restraint, two characteristics rarely found in the same work. The entire story is told, quite effectively, without a single word and the ending hints that this narrative serves as a small teaser for the creator's next big project, something undoubtedly to be anticipated. But in the meantime, if you have an hour and a couple of bucks to spare, this is beautfully rendered little story. Nothing pretentious enough to pretend profundity, just a lot of heart and beautiful craftsmenship. 4/5

I don't generally like South Park's sense of humor as a television show. Shock humor doesn't tend to offend me, I just usually don't find it that funny. Moreover, Trey and Matt's middle finger to the world, everything is equally ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" social and political commentary can be grating; it is both intellectually shallow and safe. Having said that, South Park: The Stick of Truth is a fantastic game. It's like a raunchy Earthbound with Super Mario RPG style timed battle mechanics. The world of modern day kids playing make believe fantasy is fantastic setting for an RPG and feels really fresh. You really never really know where the game will take you next. And the game mines alot of RPG and videogame tropes for some pretty funny humor. It doesn't waste your time will filler content; it's a tightly edited, sleek 12-14 hour package. Some of the attempts at humor may make you roll your eyes a bit, but Stick of Truth is a game regardless. But perhaps most surprising, despite the abuse and ridicule it sometimes dishes out to it's characters, it is clearly game that has a lot of heart and views its characters endearingly. It's Charlie Brown for a more cynical era combined with a well crafted RPG. Recommended.