⠀⢀⣒⠒⠆⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢠⡛⠛⠻⣷⣶⣦⣬⣕⡒⠤⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣳⠖⢋⣩⣭⣿⣶⡤⠶⠶⢶⣒⣲⢶⣉⣐⣒⣒⣒⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⠀⠉⣩⣭⣽⣶⣾⣿⢿⡏⢁⣴⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠲⢭⣯⣟⡿⣷⣘⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠹⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⠋⢠⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣾⣦⣾⣢⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⣳⣿⠃⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣵⣿⠃⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣯⡇⠛⣽⣦⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⠟⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠒⠤⢤⣀⣘⣆⠀⠀⠀⡏⢀⣀⡠⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠟⢹⣥⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣀⣀⣤⣀⣀⠈⠳⢤⡀⡇⣀⣠⣄⣸⡆⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠁⠀⢸⢟⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠈⠙⠙⣯⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⢨⢞⢆⠀⠀⠀⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⡇⠀⣠⢟⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⢈⡏⢎⠳⣄⠀⡇⠙⠛⠟⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⠛⢱⢃⡜⡝⠈⠚⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣅⠁⢸⣋⠈⢣⡈⢷⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⣠⣼⢯⣴⠇⣀⡀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡌⠛⣶⣆⣷⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⢉⣀⣤⡞⢛⣄⡀⢀⡨⢗⡦⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠪⣿⠁⠀⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠁⢸⠀⠀⠀⠄⠙⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠚⡉⢳⡄⠡⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠁⣠⣧⣤⣄⣀⡀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣧⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠆⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⣠⠖⠒⠒⠛⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠤⠴⠞⢋⣵⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⣶⣤⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠟⢛⣿⠀⠙⠲⠽⠛⠛⠵⠞⠉⠙⠳⢦⣀⣀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠋⠐⠣⠮⡁⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣎⡀⢀⣾⠇⢀⣠⡶⢶⠞⠋⠉⠉⠒⢄⡀⠉⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣦⡀⠘⢁⡴⢟⣯⣞⢉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠶⠤⠤⡤⢖⣿⡋⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠵⠗⠺⠟⠖⢈⡣⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡤⣬⣽⠾⠋⠉⠑⠺⠧⣀⣤⣤⡠⠟⠃
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠷⠶⠦⠶⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ my car up after running over a mattress on purpose, so it was time to get a new car.
I traveled 7 miles by foot to the nearest dealership and walked my white ass up to the counter and asked for their best deal. They took 1 look at me and knew I was full of ♥♥♥♥ instantly. That I was not to be taken seriously as a customer, but it seemed they were still willing to hook me up. I trusted them because the guys who worked there were all jocks like me and if you are a nerd, that’s just something you’ll never understand. They blindfolded me and drove me to someplace for 20 minutes then told me to get the ♥♥♥♥ out of the car. They coaxed me deep into a wooded area by jabbing me with a spike even though I was fine to just keep walking without the spike. They took off my blindfold and I saw the worst car I could’ve imagined.

It was all ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up. There were no windows, it smelled like poison, and it was covered in pictures of mutilated fetuses because it was once used in abortion protests or something. But other than all of that, it was pretty good. The dealers made me sign some papers and cut off one of my ears and I was good to go. I thrusted my feet thru the floor of the vehicle and started her up by running my legs like Fred Flintstone. It was instantly clear to me that I had been fooled into purchasing a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ caveman's car. I was only on the road for 10 seconds before getting hollered at. A very small man wearing nothing but denim overalls was trying to get my attention. "Your car sucks, and I’m going to kick your ass until you get a better one!" he said.

Well now I gotta pull over into this Bob's Discount Furniture parking lot and get my ass kicked by this guy, I guess. Just then, it occurred to me that I had planned a romantic date in that very same parking lot. Now, I know that this sounds like one of those fun, classic premises you would find in a sit-com, but the actual events of that day were very sad. I told the man to hurry up and kick my ass so I could lose the fight as quickly as possible. I promised not to fight back. He took that opportunity to punch the weakest part of my head, the mouth, until he got bored and left. All my teeth were ♥♥♥♥♥♥. I had a big amount of blood coming out of my jowls. My wife asked what happened. And I said, shut the ♥♥♥♥ up! But there’s no way she could understand the words I said in that state. I slumped up against the curb and let her attempt to jack off my limp penis while I laid there like a sack of ♥♥♥♥. The next day I ejected that cursed car into a reservoir.