ЧПЯКИ-ЧПЯКИ's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 12:46pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2019 @ 5:53am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 12:34pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2019 @ 2:07am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 12:52pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2019 @ 11:01am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 1:18pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2019 @ 5:37am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2019 @ 2:17am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2019 @ 9:47am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 5 Apr, 2019 @ 7:22am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2019 @ 9:38am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2019 @ 12:04pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2019 @ 9:41am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2019 @ 4:46am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2019 @ 12:16pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2019 @ 10:07am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2019 @ 2:21am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2019 @ 6:04am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2019 @ 12:46pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2019 @ 6:54am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2019 @ 12:01pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2019 @ 12:14pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2019 @ 9:03am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2019 @ 8:30am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2019 @ 4:23am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 12:59pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2019 @ 3:02am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2019 @ 10:46am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2019 @ 8:18am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2019 @ 8:53am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2019 @ 12:40pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2019 @ 8:33am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2019 @ 11:39am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2019 @ 4:37am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2019 @ 9:40am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 12:36pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2019 @ 9:28am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2019 @ 9:02am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2019 @ 9:48am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2019 @ 7:41am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2019 @ 9:49am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2019 @ 5:15am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2019 @ 11:49am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2020 @ 12:16pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 12:32pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 12:41pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 12:45pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 1:30pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2019 @ 2:48am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2019 @ 7:46am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 1:24pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2019 @ 12:39pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2019 @ 7:35am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2019 @ 11:48am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2019 @ 12:11pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2019 @ 8:30am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2019 @ 8:57am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2019 @ 12:24pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2019 @ 8:47am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2019 @ 10:42am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2019 @ 12:07pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2019 @ 9:45am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2019 @ 9:27am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30