(Based on a true story.)

This is the story of Hacky, Samira and Jamal, three legendary adventurers. Hacky, true to his name, was a dwarf who excelled at hacking at stuff. Samira was a human enchantress, and supported the party with magical expertise. And Jamal - well, he smoked pot all day. Which was good, cuz weed be good healz, mon.

They were a formidable trio. Hacky took all the hits at the frontline, while Samira melted their foes with righteous fire, and Jamal - well, he smoked pot at the back. Which was good, cuz weed be good healz, mon.

They'd been to the Stormy Peaks and took from the giant squirrel Ratatoskr his razor-sharp tooth, which Hacky would use to slice and dice. They'd gone to the Sunken Empire and defeated the geisha for her magical harp, which Samira used to curse and bless their enemies at the same time somehow. And Jamal - well, he didn't need anything beyond his own pipe. Which was good, cuz weed be good healz, mon.

----

They vanquished foe after foe, completed quest after quest, with none of them succumbing to Death's touch. Before long, they were equipped with the finest gear, and nothing at all could stun them, much less take them down. It seemed they were invincible.

But alas, on their final quest to save the world from the abysmal lord of the Cyclopean Pyramid, they got what was coming to them. It was quite impossible for the monsters they encountered to kill them, for they simply lacked the firepower. There was only one thing in the world that could stop the formidable three: themselves. An evil-eye-thing they met on the way played a most sinister tune. The gang was impervious to being stunned, but this song got them dazed and confused. Hacky and Samira turned upon each other and wound up taking themselves out, with Death sweeping in to claim their souls. And Jamal - well, he was just minding his own business, smoking pot at the back.

All he had was weed. No weapons, just weed. He had to drop some weed from one of his hands just so that he could punch the evil-eye-thing with it and somehow take it down. (Waste of good weed, I tell you.) When at last the song had been silenced, Jamal was left alone in the chamber. It was all over, it seemed. What could he do all on his own when all he'd been doing from the very beginning of the journey was smoke pot at the back? But it wasn't quite over just yet (and Jamal had nothing better to do), so he decided to stick it out to the bitter end. He grabbed Samira's old harp and marched on deeper into the Pyramid all on his own.

Death seemed certain but Samira's Harp wasn't anything to laugh at, even in Jamal's intoxicated Rastafari hands. With the power of the Harp's cursed harmony (and his weed), Jamal somehow clawed his way up to the final boss. And the duel was on.

As the lord of the minions who proved to be Hacky and Samira's bane, the Giant-Evil-Eye-Thing also knew how to play the confusing tune of doom. Jamal was dazed and confused on multiple occasions - he would throw perfectly good bags of weed at the thing for no good reason. (SACRILEGE!)

But in the end, Samira's Harp outplayed the Giant-Evil-Eye-Thing. Through an act of miracle, Jamal had single-handedly vanquished the Great Eye and emerged victorious!

----

Jamal made his way back to the town. The townsfolk were overjoyed to hear of the Giant-Evil-Eye-Thing's demise, and prepared a great celebratory feast in the tavern. Jamal had one thing left to do. He went to the chapel, and through the great power of RPG gold, he bought back his old companions' souls from Death and resurrected them, good as new. He returned Samira's Harp back to its old owner, and then the three of them went off to the tavern to enjoy the good life.

The rest of the story is just hearsay. Hacky apparently got drunk off his head on mead. Samira played a bewitching tune and then vanished until the next morning, when she emerged silently from one of the rooms, with the local blacksmith following not too long after. And Jamal -

Well, he smoked pot all night.


10/10, cuz weed be good healz, mon.