Man heads off into the middle of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nowhere to rescue his girlfriend from the clutches of Bayou Billy, who's now a family man. His wife makes a mean gumbo.

Alternate review: Autistic manchild chases first crush into Alton Towers' haunted house exhibit, terrifies the staff, destroys the place and is then airlifted back to the care home.

Actual review:

The shift to first person is a good idea, considering there's not much else to do. Controls are responsive, everything looks creepy and atmospheric, and it should be fun but it's just... lacking.

There's something about this that doesn't sit right with me. I'm genuinely bored. There's no tension. I have around 60 handgun bullets at this point, but if the enemies don't care whether or not you shoot them, then what's the point? I'm tripping over medical supplies (making the pre-order DLC, if you got it, worthless), and nothing that's happened so far has made me stop and go, "wow, that was really well done!"

SPOILERS

• Ethan gets his hand lopped off. A few minutes later, he wakes up, it's reattached to his wrist, and now he has a pound shop Casio watch. Never once does he question where he got said nifty watch, or how a bunch of rednecks superglued him back together.
  
• Deputy appears at the window. Ethan, who from the outside looks like a nutjob, is then given a weapon by said deputy. Deputy then meets up with Ethan, in an enclosed space, after arming him. Is this basic police training?
  
• Blundering through the house, and something comes out of the wall. You blast it a few times, it dies. No build up, no warning, nothing to at least indicate something is about to happen. You just react and think, "okay, cool I guess."

I wanted to like this, but the transition to first person is hindered by a lackluster story. I really couldn't give a toss about any of the characters. I feel more tension starting a new job.

tl,dr; if you like your first person survival games, you'll probably enjoy this. if you like Resident Evil, you might enjoy this.

The ending is DLC. [edit: it's not, but it needs to be. I feel like I've been lobotomised after that last section.]

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Edit: 28/01/2017

Okay. Beaten it on Normal. Beaten it on Madhouse, under 4 hours. And I enjoyed myself.

How? Why? Easy. Keep an open mind as you read this, I rewrote the story as I did the Madhouse playthrough.

Ethan is autistic. It's the only way to explain anything. He's obsessed with his first crush, Mia, the nurse who looks after him at the care home he resides in. He was placed there due to violent outbursts when he has an "episode." Mia has vacation time, so she explains to Ethan that she's going away for a little while (which is probably just a week, but to Ethan, it seems like forever), and the second she's out the door, Ethan hulks out and escapes.

He chases her to the Bayou while she visits her family, destroys the house, murders the whole bunch after coming to the conclusion that they've taken Mia away from him, and while they're trying to calm him by showing him that they're okay as a family, he feels that he's being forced to eat something his autistic brain doesn't like.

Depending on the route you pick, he either kills his crush and refuses to acknowledge it's his fault, or he escapes with his crush (who's actually his nurse) and is taken back to the care home via airlift, to be locked up in a padded cell for the rest of his life.

Swear to God, it made the game playable. I mean damn, it's still a mediocre title, but armed with the assumption that Ethan is autistic, it explains his indifference to nearly everything and his superhuman ability to deflect any attack by raising his arms.