8
Products
reviewed
146
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Darknorth

Showing 1-8 of 8 entries
6 people found this review helpful
6 people found this review funny
3,471.7 hrs on record (3,050.0 hrs at review time)
Number also goes down, 0/10
Posted 26 January.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
325 people found this review helpful
347 people found this review funny
18
14
57
13
5
4
12
10
5
4
4
2
3
3
2
2
73
113.0 hrs on record (25.3 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
I started a co-op factory with a close friend. After a day of work, I stepped back, looked at what we built, and came to some realizations.

1. I have no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idea whats going on in this factory
2. Half the components that directly interact with each other aren't even near one another, one of the machines producing
copper cable for another machine to assemble into circuit boards is halfway across the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ refinery
3. 90% of the conveyor belts are underground, and the rest are going so many directions this thing looks like a ball of yarn
4. There is coal ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ EVERYWHERE
5. I maintain enough sanity to count to 5
6. Staring at this thing makes my eyes itch
7. Looking away makes my brain itch

The scariest part is that it keeps getting bigger, and every time it gets bigger it somehow becomes MORE labrynthine. One of those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ conveyor belts goes all the way around the entire factory to deliver steel plates to a single assembler thats making bloody roters, and its right next to the refinery itself!

Sometimes the factory breaks. We don't usually notice because of how much of a mess this thing is, and the breaks we do spot are often half an hour old and are a recurring problem. Rather than fix it, we simply unjam the machine and ignore it until it breaks again. The biggest problem to fixing it comes from our production lines. Normal production lines look like a grid. Ours looks like you threw a bunch of squares into a bowl of spaghetti noodles and gave the bowl to a five year old for a period of one to five minutes. This proccess results in either an empty bowl and a full five year old, a floor covered in noodles, or spaghetti all over the walls and ceiling with the squares nowhere to be found. Knowing the trend in increasing chaos and complexity the factory exhibits, probably all three.

The factory is an embodiment of madness incomprehensible even to the men who built it, laid every unholy circuit of conveyor belt, a thousand arms madly spinning every second, countless plates of copper and iron in a complex dance the likes of which is unseen in the realm of mere mortals. There are sections that I have no idea how they work, and I BUILT THEM.

The factory grows more complex with each passing second and more convoluted every milisecond. Perhaps the reason is in part due to each segment being constructed with no plans for future additions, then the future additions were constructed by forcibly adapting the existing segments, usually by shoving more tubes into it rather than actually redesigning it, and these future additions are also not planned for expansion. The end result is a cluster♥♥♥♥ so large in magnitude, the last time a cluster♥♥♥♥ rivaled it in size, God smote the town and turned its inhabitants into salt. Unfortunately no god can save us from this... thing.

Having expanded it further its almost as if the factory has a mind of its own, an ever hungry consciousness burning with dark malevolence and the need to grow. It infects all who stand in its presence, compelling them to add to it. A hundred furnaces belch smoke and the black blood of the earth is torn from its cradle to fuel the fires of industry. The ecosystem is demolished and the skin of the planet is rented and shattered for its glittering treasures, tossed into the inferno of a thousand stone and metal prisons to be transformed, used to expand the malignant blight upon the world that we brought. Ten thousand steel cogs turn and steam fills the air as the never ending fires boil the oceans away to power the sprawling spiderweb of mechanised mayhem, ordered chaos at its purest, a hundred thousand plates of steel and copper cycle and swirl in patterns barely knowable by the very people that created them.

Each day, the blue and purple fluids are pumped into glowing bronze tubes, each sparking and burning, discovering new knowledge and new machines. The factory grows. Each advance in technology only complicates matters. The factory grows. The new advances create a need for new resources. The factory grows. The new resources require new means of transportation. The factory grows. The new transportation feeds new machines that burn the new resources to produce blue fluids to discover new technology. The factory grows. The purple fluids feed the globes to reveal new truths, beginning the vicious cycle anew, a neverending circle of destruction and growth that will only end when every corner of the planet is scoured clean. The factory grows. The planet will never be scoured clean. The factory grows. The planet is infinite in size. The factory grows. The game will never be over.

The factory grows.
Posted 22 February, 2021. Last edited 22 February, 2021.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
541.6 hrs on record (439.8 hrs at review time)
based.
Posted 14 December, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
53.9 hrs on record (48.1 hrs at review time)
Skyblock when?
Posted 17 November, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1,823.7 hrs on record (1,079.0 hrs at review time)
Wake up in a strange land
get sniped by a compound
respawn
repeat
???
build 2x2
get raided
???
live?
Posted 30 June, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
92.6 hrs on record (34.1 hrs at review time)
Haha cannons go brrrrr.
Posted 13 June, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
653.3 hrs on record (56.0 hrs at review time)
Huntress OP, i love her.
Posted 5 January, 2018.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
367.6 hrs on record (103.7 hrs at review time)
CS:GO Review
This game is just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ amazing, great game
Posted 8 March, 2016.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
Showing 1-8 of 8 entries