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Disclose our sexual crimes to you
We were bad, but now we're good
We're moving into your neighbourhood
You know we're trying our best to be
Functioning member of society
We're not here to start trouble
We're legally required to do the "Sex Offender Shuffle"
[Verse 1: Larry Arthauer]
I'm Larry Arthauer and I'll refrain
From touching my neighbor's kid's again
What I did was not too kind
But I'm a nice guy, you'll come to find
I've got a backyard and a real nice pool
Y'all should come over for a BBQ
We could make some cold drinks in my blender
But do keep in mind I'm a sex offender
[Verse 2: Vernon Douglas]
Vernon Douglas is my name
My battery arrest is what brought me fame
But there's much more to know about me
I love to dance, and I love to ski
I zip and zoom through the snow
Just strap on my boots and watch me go
But I can't ski until December
So until then I'm just a sex offender