(DAU)HAV3N's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 26 Dec, 2014 @ 2:09pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2014 @ 2:32pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 26 Dec, 2014 @ 2:30pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 11:26pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2020 @ 1:18am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 11:15pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 1:13am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 4:56pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 28 Apr, 2015 @ 12:55am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 28 Apr, 2015 @ 1:05am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 6:12pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2014 @ 2:59pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2014 @ 12:08am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2014 @ 10:26pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 12:55am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2017 @ 1:03am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2017 @ 1:00am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2014 @ 12:11am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2020 @ 2:33am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2019 @ 3:37am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 1:29am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 12:09am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 11:15pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 3:03am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 19 Jan, 2020 @ 5:07pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2020 @ 6:36pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 11:40pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 4:55pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 1:35am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 1:23am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2014 @ 10:28pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 4:58pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 26 Dec, 2014 @ 2:21pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2020 @ 1:25am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 26 Dec, 2014 @ 2:08pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 2:45pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 1:12am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2020 @ 1:21am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 12:31am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 11:42pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 11:37pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2014 @ 10:28pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2020 @ 1:13am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 7:32pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 6:36pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2020 @ 2:21am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 6:13pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2015 @ 5:16pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2015 @ 1:01am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 7:41pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 11 Dec, 2015 @ 5:24pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2015 @ 5:24pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2015 @ 2:02am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 23 Dec, 2016 @ 8:21pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 27 Jan, 2020 @ 1:29am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 16 Nov, 2015 @ 10:10pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 4 Jan, 2020 @ 6:20am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

28 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

25 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

6 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

17 / 30