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早坂愛

Singapore

FAQ: How are you so bad at the game?

A: Thanks, I'm cheating
on my boyfriend this weekend.

THE PLAN

This Saturday at 9 pm, my boyfriend will have a drink with his buds at Atomic Liquors - a 15-minute drive away.
He is usually out for 3 hours with the shortest time being 1 hour 47 minutes and 28 seconds. More than enough time to comfortably do the deed, and still have ample time to clean up.

THE PERFECT CRIME

I will remove all your fingerprints, scent, hair, and DNA from the scene.
I made it a point to change the sheets every Saturday when he is gone so he won't suspect anything.
I will be editing the security footage of all the cameras on the property with a fake timestamp for the duration that you were present.
You will be entering from the back window so that the security system will not register the door being opened.
I will ensure that the neighbors will not see you, so there will be no witnesses.

SAFETY, THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY

I will hire a lookout to be at the site to ensure that he is present and will inform me when he leaves.
On the occasion that he leaves early, we have 10 minutes to remove all evidence of your presence and for you to take your leave, and 5 minutes of buffer for me to temporarily edit the security footage and to double-check that nothing looks out of the ordinary.

In the event that he notices my lookout and bribes him to not inform me of his unprecedented return, I have hired a backup lookout to watch his car, his friends' cars, and the first lookout's vehicle to see if they are on the move. Of course, the second lookout does not know the first lookout exists to avoid any complications.

With this amount of safety measures put in place, I am certain that the deed will be carried out smoothly.

REASONS

The following are the reasons for it to be done.

1) Not replacing the toilet roll after being fully used.
2) Not putting down the toilet seat after urination.
3) Not closing the closet after use.
4) Leaving my room door open after leaving
5) Drinking straight from the milk carton.
6) Hogging 80% of the blanket at night.
7) Opening the blinds while I'm still sleeping.

I believe that this is more than enough reason to carry out the act.

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀GPU
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ___________________________________________
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀GeForce GTX 745 (2014-2018)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀ASUS GeForce GTX 1060 3GB (2018-2020)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀EVGA GeForce GTX 1080 Ti SC 11GB (12/2020-03/2023)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀ZOTAC GeForce RTX 4070 Ti AMP AIRO (03/2023)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀CPU
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ___________________________________________
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀Intel Core i7 4790 3.6 GHz [Acer Predator G3-605] (2014-2019)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀AMD Ryzen 5 2600 3.4GHz (2019-2021)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀AMD Ryzen 5 5600X 3.7GHz (06/2021-04/2023)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀AMD Ryzen 7 7800X3D 4.2GHz (04/2023)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀CPU Cooler
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀AMD Wraith Stealth (2019-04/2023)
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀DDR3 1x4 GB 1600 MHz (2014-2017)
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀Acer [Predator G3-605] (2014-2020)
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀ZOWIE XL2411 144Hz (2014-03/2023)
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Monitor Arm
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ___________________________________________
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀│⠀⌱⠀⠀Creative Draco HS880 (2015-2016)
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ▰-▰-▰-▰-▰-▰-▰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO LOWBALLING!!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO EQUAL PRICES!!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO HIGHBALLING!!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO SMOKING!!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO EATING!!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO DRINKING!!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO SLEEPING!!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO SHITTING!!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO BREATHING!!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO TALKING!!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀NO RUNNING IN CORRIDORS!!
⠀◣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀◢

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