Dargus's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 5:38am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 5:50am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 6:06am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 7:16am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 6:32am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 6:24am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 8:14am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2021 @ 10:24am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2021 @ 12:13pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2021 @ 1:52pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2021 @ 1:48pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 26 Jul @ 10:42pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2021 @ 12:03pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2021 @ 1:44pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2021 @ 10:11am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 9:50am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 28 May, 2023 @ 3:22pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 27 May, 2023 @ 5:39am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 27 Jul @ 11:15am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 26 Jul @ 9:33pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2021 @ 10:36am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 27 Jul @ 12:11pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 29 Jul @ 6:35pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2021 @ 11:27am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2021 @ 1:46pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 26 Jul @ 9:34pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 8:17am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2021 @ 11:39am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 8:17am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 10:13am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2021 @ 12:15pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 6:22am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 6:29am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 6:29am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 5:34am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 8:23am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 6:26am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 6:28am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 10:47am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 27 Jul @ 11:57am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2021 @ 11:52am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 10:34am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 27 May, 2023 @ 10:12am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 5:32am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 27 May, 2023 @ 6:30am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2021 @ 11:26am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 29 Jul @ 4:45pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2021 @ 7:21am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

27 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

6 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

29 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30