Recent reviews by ᴄʜʀᴏɴɪᴋᴇʀ

To keep things short, this game is fantastic. Once you get into it, it's a pretty addictive time sink. Fun gameplay that's simple to pick up - and although it is repetitive, each attempt at a run can vary a fair amount and there are a number of variables to change the experience each time you take a go at it. An experience you get further change with the community made mods.

It's akin to a tug of war - at times you can just lose a run instantly or be overwhelmed. Or, you can be the one with absurd amounts power - a literal unstoppable force, wiping the entire map before they have a chance to react.

The phenomenal soundtrack ties everything together incredibly well, a trait shared with the first entry in the series. Props to the composer, because he knocked it out of the park again. I will say I think the atmosphere and tone of the first game is much stronger, but that doesn't take away from how nice it is to explore and find out little bits and pieces of the setting of this game.

Overall, worth checking out if you like rolling the dice and push the limits of wielding asinine amounts of power.

An incredibly neat and engaging roguelike/lite game if you have a thing for exploration and experimentation.

Noita is one of those games that are quite simple on the surface, but houses a vast repository of secrets just waiting to be found quite literally, beneath the surface. The game has a lot charm, and it's so easy to get hooked on it. There a few different portions of gameplay that work together and form the incredibly fun experience that is, Noita.

For starters, you're a wizard.
Sweet, right?

You've got a cool magic wand and a dope purple cloak. Unfortunately, you happen to be in the middle of *seemingly* nowhere, at the mouth of a mountain's tunnel. Where is anyone, or anything? Who can you show off your stunning duds and fancy destructive magic sparks to? Maybe if you venture into the cave before you, you'll find out. There's a few large stone tablets that go further into the mountain's maw. Cryptic messages from a time unknown, glowing bright as you walk past... messages from unknown beings that explain to you the very simple controls of the game.

You venture further in, slipping down a steep decline. The cave opens up in a vast, winding maze around you. It's dark. It smells funny. It is now you realize you're not exactly alone down here. You've found the "anyone and anythings" you were looking for. Unfortunately, they seem to want you dead.

... and this is where the fun begins. A primary portion of your objective in Noita is exploration. A sizable portion, as there's a whole lot of darkness to delve through. Danger in the form of the environment and all those that inhabit it. Secrets and strange places; relics and magic. Fortunately, you're quite good at handling magic. You know, being a wizard and all. Your main goal is to dive downwards into the mountain until you can go no further. What's down there, lying in wait at the very bottom? If you can survive long enough, you'll find out. While this is the main objective, Noita's world is actually quite large. There's a number of destinations with their own hazards, rewards, and sense of mystery. You look around, find an obstacle, look elsewhere, find a way to overcome it, and the cycle repeats. You slowly piece together the puzzle of Noita's world, always finding something cool while you're doing it.

One cool thing happens to be the very earth you stand upon.

There's a numerous amount of materials that form the game's environment. Dirt and gravel. Ancient brickwork, dense volcanic rock. Ice and slush. Piles of sand and... gunpowder? Pits of lava, vats of sludge. Deep lakes of water, or some various liquid from a potion that spilled somewhere. You interact with your environment in a number of ways in this game, and the way it reacts to various disturbances is incredibly cool - each pixel has a simulated property to it. Objects have weight. Liquids flow and spill; they mix with each other and create different concoctions of potential benefit or hazard. Your enemies bleed various substances that also can have effects on you. All these liquids can be bottled for use later, frozen, burnt... they can even give off gases and vapor, and these gasses react to various things as well. There's just all this neat stuff going on at once that keeps you on your toes that you can use to your advantage or fall victim to.

So, in a scramble to hold on to your life and find some answers, you press forward. As you trek through the caverns, you'll notice that someone left some wands around. Just floating enticingly on some cool pedestals. Mysterious. As far as you're concerned, they're yours for the taking - granted that some creature doesn't get to it first and decides to use you as target practice.

This is the beginning of your descent into madness and unlimited power... potentially. The next portion of Noita's formula is that of wands and spellcasting, and man oh man. You're in for a wild ride.

Upon starting each run, you'll be granted two wands. A simple wand that fires one of many basic projectiles, and another wand that can create explosions - useful for blowing through the ground, obstacles, and enemies alike. Each wand has spell slots, and these are occupied by a basic spell that is good enough to get you to a certain point... and then you might notice you'll need some more firepower. Like mentioned previously, there's a number of randomized wands all around the caverns. Each with their own unique set of spells and characteristics that can be either amazing or... not so much. The madness advances when you realize that you can actually tinker with these spells slots - customizing combinations of magic and magic modifiers. And goodness gracious, there's so much to work with.

Anything from making your wand become a torch that sets things on fire, to casting projectiles that leave trails of fire. Maybe that trail could be poison, acid, or light... what if the projectile itself *was* light? What if that light had an electric charge that stunned everything it touched? Or accidentally killed you if you held it while swimming in liquid? Liquid you can make out of thin air? You can make it rain. Rain what, exactly? It could be whiskey, toxic sludge, maybe even blood. Maybe you'd like to cast a sphere around you that freezes the liquids you've just made a pool of. Or perhaps you can drill through your frozen brew and the earth with your chainsaw-drill-lazer wand. A black hole that eats the ground is a much cooler, though. Why drill into the dark when you can light up the map and know where to go? Got yourself in a tough spot and need a shield for a quick breather? There's a spell for that. Do you want to fill your entire screen with tentacles that pound everything they touch into a pulp? Do you like explosions? Like, a lot of explosions? In various shapes and sizes?

There are so many possibilities. If you're creative, you can make something truly spectacular. Possibly ungodly, but spectacular nonetheless.

And if that wasn't enough, there's a plethora of mods to find in the Workshop that adds even more insanity to the already chaotic mess. Maybe you want mods to have less chaos, even. Quality of life? Custom character sprites? New spells? Flat out cheat? Sure, why not? Again, there's an incredibly huge amount of possibilities.

It should also be mentioned that Noita isn't exactly an easy game. You're going to die, quite a bit. That's what makes it fun. You have to be smart about how you react to the environment and use your tools to handle the situations you find yourself in, and craft tools to bend the situations in your favor. Some runs will go better than others, but that's how things go with games in this genre. Try again and discover something new.

To echo my statement at the beginning of this review - if you're into exploration, tinkering with things, and leaving a part of your fate up to the RNG gods... Noita is absolutely worth checking out. Fantastic game.

The best "idle for trading card drops" simulator out there.
Totally worth the 9 cents.


Seriously though don't buy this unless you plan to idle for cards
I never knew a game could be so bad
You'll get more entertainment from reading the reviews of this game than playing the game

Where can I begin?
This game is one of the most fun and addictive titles I've played in a while.

It's exactly what it says it is, a Puzzle Platformer. The puzzle aspect is quite simple; there are multicolored blocks that cascade from the sky, and your primary objective is to destroy them. Same colored blocks can connect, and chain for extra points. Massive combos result in massive amounts of points (buckle your pants, you're in for a massive amount of screen shaking.)

Now, the platforming part is where the fun begins. In addition to the puzzling, your next objective is survival. It's an endurance test. You'll need quick reflexes and lots of caution when blocks are falling from the sky - but that's not all you need to be wary of. Various stage hazards appear from time to time and vary from each world. Each hazard making the gameplay a ton of fun, as well as somewhat frustrating from time to time. A wise person will avoid letting hazards stack up. (Trust me.)

While the gameplay remains the same through each world, each world feels fresh as you play through them. As stated previously, each world adds new hazards, and you're in for a surprise every time. The graphics on each stage look great, and the music for each stage is even better.

In addition to solid gameplay, Super Puzzle Platformer has quite a few unlockables - various costumes that grant different bonuses and change how fast your character moves, how high they jump, and how strong their breaking abilites are. If you're feeling brave, there are also unlockable challenges that are both fun and, well, challenging. (They get pretty darn hard.)

This game even added some words to my normal vocabulary, I'll be calling things radical, jazzy, smokin', and nifty from now on.

Overall, I can't not recommend this game. Vibrant, colorful, retro graphics and a kickass soundtrack that are reminiscent of the Sega Genesis, simple and solid controls, with simple and great gameplay, as well as long lasting re-playability make this title shine. My only gripe would be the massive screenshake on very large combos. It can be pretty disorenting, but makes those combos feel worth it. I love everything about this game.

At the time of writing this review, I've only got a couple hours logged. But I'm extremely satisfied with this game, and I can't wait to log some more hours. 10 / 10.

I've heard this game described as the "gateway to first person shooters". As the first FPS I've really enjoyed and sunk a lot of time into, as well as my segue into PC gaming, I couldn't agree more.

There's so much to love about this game, even after all this time. While I wasn't around from the beginning, having a strong playerbase after the amount of years it's been out speaks for itself. I put so much time into it when I first began, and I still come back to it all the time - it's just fun. Team Fortress 2 is THE definitive class based shooter, and nothing comes close in my opinion. Everything feels right (as long as it isn't a random crit); the core movement and shooting mechanics are rock solid - and the game opens up so much more when you get an understanding of all the nuances of the engine, like explosive jumping along with air strafing.

Seriously, if you don't like shooting at things you can spend countless hours just learning how to rocket jump or surf. If those don't suit your fancy, custom game modes are something TF2 has a ton of. I've made a bunch of pals just goofing off on random custom maps. The stuff the community created (and still does create) are out of this world.

There's a countless amount of replay value; a plethora of usermade content and mods adding more to the base game and adding hours of entertainment - none of which you have to pay a dime for. Not to mention how in depth you can get with customizng your client and tweaking things to your liking. There aren't much modern games that offer the level of freedom for the player that TF2 does. And hats, don't forget hats.

I can't forget to mention TF2's world - each character has so much... character. Every one of them is loveable and well designed. Outside of the game, you have all the video shorts and the Team Fortress comics, plus so much more that give so much life to each one of the mercinaries and the world they live in. You can hate how a class plays in game and still love them because they're just cool (like Spy). The amount of care and attention to detail put into this game is unreal.

I also have to thank TF2 for introducing me to the wonderful world of arena shooters - namely Quake, the game that brought the Team Fortress series into being, and a series I enjoy almost as much as TF2.

It's not perfect, and over time there's plenty of things I and many others have gripes with. Issues arise and take a while (a LONG while) to get fixed, performance can suck in some instances or on certain maps due to the limitations of such an old engine... the list goes on. It's not quite what it was like at its peak... but, even with the flaws, the game holds up and plays well. I can still jump into a game, try my hardest and still end up being a goof. There's something magical about the balance of chaos and coordination that a TF2 public server has, anything can happen at any given time during a match.

TF2 is way past being a mere game for some, it's almost like a way of life. Hopefully it stays that way, I can't imagine the day will ever come when this game has 0 players. This is - by far - my favorite first person shooter to ever exist.