Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human ♥♥♥♥♥, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water.

When will people learn that practical jokes need to have boundaries? Back when I was attending community college, my classmates used to tease me mercilessly. It bugged me that no one really liked me and I had no friends so I used to go out at night alone, sneak up behind cars reversing out of department store parking spots, quickly plop my ♥♥♥♥ under their tires and let them run it over. My therapist told me it was a form self chastising I resorted to because I blamed myself for the social ineptitude I suffered from my whole life. After our session that day, I waited patiently outside for her to leave the office and stuffed my ♥♥♥♥ under her tire as she backed out.

edit: and yes…my nickname is now ”pancake ♥♥♥♥”.

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