Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter His universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in His kingdom. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of meatman natural order.

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In a town where silence reigned,
A tale of vengeance, now ingrained,
A man named Marvin, pushed to the brink,
His anger fueled, his heart did sink.

In a Killdozer he did dwell,
A monstrous machine, a modern hell,
Forged of steel and righteous ire,
To quench his burning, vengeful fire.

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