Wissen macht Aua!
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Welcome,
my goal in this particular review is to explain how Id Software caused the destruction of Lijiang.

After the success of DOOM, Id Software had some pretty big shoes to fill. DOOM was considered a milestone in the history of gayming and many people call it the grandfather of shooters (because screw Wolfenstein). It introduced new gameplay mechanics, which were unheard of at the time and therefore revolutionary. It caused many gamers to join the newly founded PC Master Race, which was part of the plan. Back in the day, consoles ruled the gaming world.

Then, all of a sudden, 3 devils appeared: John Carmack, John Romero and Tom Hall. They became demons filled with envy due to the great reception of Back to the Future and Friday the 13th, both for the NES. They saw the potential of video games in bestowing them with wealth, so they decided to create Commander Keen in order to top even the best games at that time. This phenomenon caused multiple horrible events. Commander Keen, a Jump 'n' Run, was a great technical achievement because of its smooth-scrolling graphics game engine, specifically made by John Carmack. It actually managed to show that not only platform games, but video games in general could work on the PC. Back in the day, raster graphics were quite difficult to emulate, but thanks to his genius engine, it managed to keep the transfer of graphics from the main memory to the graphic card as low as possible, since the memory of graphic cards were pretty bad. Their plan for the perfect game was nearly fulfilled.

They published it on the operating system MS-DOS. Seeing that it was Microsoft's first operating system, it had too much of Bill Gate's power to just support the game, which consisted of John Carmack's black magic. Thus, the simulated world of Commander Keen spawned several Vorticons for a brief moment, who rampaged through the epicenter at the town Rascht. This caused the Manjil-Rudbar earthquake. This earthquake killed almost the entire population of console gamers (their consoles too!) so that the remaining ones were forced to play Commander Keen, which became more popular as a result.

This event didn't go unnoticed by Bill Gates. He felt how his power, mixed with the game engine/black magic, caused the earthquake. In addition, Apogee Software, who published the game, confirmed his theory. He tried to blackmail them, because he knew what they had done, craving the lucre of this technological monster that they had created. They had no choice, so they made the deal.

Their next choice was to create the first Ego-Shooter ever made, Wolfenstein 3D. It was their next technical achievement, finally enabling three-dimensionality with 2D Sprites.
However, their goal was to not only make money, but secure it. Only Bill Gates, Id Software or also called "the three demons" and Apogee Software knew of this horrible method. Bill Gates was able to control or cooperate with the three, since they were just as evil as him, but he feared that Apogee would someday gain enough money with this pact in order to beat all of them and bring back balance to the console games with the greatest console game of all time, which was part of a f*cking prophecy, as always. So, Bill Gates and the two Johns decided to sacrifice Tom Hall in order to manipulate this path of the prophecy.

In 1992, after Wolfenstein 3D got released, it caused, once again, an earthquake, which killed three people in California (which is why Apogee didn't notice it). One of them was Tom Hall. Now his fellow partners resurrected him as a new fallen angel with no knowledge of his past life. They sent him to Apogee, so they would all get amnesia from him and forget about their work with Bill Gates and Id Software. They then became 3D Realms and created Duke Nukem 3D. Several years later they created Duke Nukem: Forever, which was supposed to be the greatest console game of all time, but instead became corrupted (kinda like the Anakin Skywalker of video games). Hope for the console age was nearly extinguished at this point, but the 2D sprites from Duke Nukem: 3D, being dark and corrupted sources, were implemented in CoD, adding insult to injury: http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/ubpKUvd8NXM/0.jpg This 2D fire sprite manipulated all the other developers in the world into creating sh*tty CoD clones. Only Indie Developers (because they had low power) and Valve (because Gabe Newell worked at Microsoft) were spared.

They then started to work on Doom, which was supposed to refine the assets from Wolfenstein 3D, because they wanted to make as much money as possible without spending too much of it on something new.
Doom was, as previously mentioned in the beginning, a success (even though Wikipedia says that Tom Hall was one of the designers, it was just a paid actor). Since Doom's Id tech 1 engine was just an improved version of the Wolfenstein one, it was a bit too much for the same platform/operating system that they used before, MS-DOS (now Win95). But instead of causing yet another earthquake, it just corrupted the new publishers, mainly Bethesda and ESPECIALLY Activision to spread the destruction to console games even further in the future (they basically became Bill Gate's Nazguls).

The problem for Bill Gates was that the black magic, which the 2 John-Demons used for the previous 3 games, confused too much of his own power. The first real evidence of his madness was when he promoted Doom: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN0K58EfJSg
I mean, he's even wearing a black trench coat! Anyway, he realized that he could control the black magic, which John Carmack put into his game engines, before getting trumped by it (Microsoft was the second most installed software...second to Doom). The only problem was John Romero, who was pretty much the heart of Id Software, while Carmack was the brain...and their pawns were the muscles. He could control the brain, and therefore its muscles, but not the heart. So the best choice was to let them create yet another ground-breaking game, sadistically called Quake, for all the previous earthquakes, but most importantly, for the upcoming one. He knew that the new Quake Engine would be so powerful that even months before its release, an earthquake would emerge. He guided its direction to Lijiang, birthplace of John Romero ( I mean, he does look asian: https://www.gamed.nl/thumb/190350.jpg ).

This attack weakened Romero so much that he went batsh*t insane and left Id Software because of certain "disagreements". He later co-founded Ion Storm with Tom Hall and went on to create one of the worst games of all time: Daikatana. This harmed the image of the PC-Gaming scene, but was soon balanced out by a hero called Warren Spector, who created Deus Ex, the best game ever made.

Let's go back to the past. After Quake was finally released, Bill Gates still became corrupted, even though he only had John Carmack to control. The problem was that Doom was already a little bit too much for MS-DOS and the Quake engine, with its polygonal models and full 3D level design, a fortiori. Bill Gates knew the risk when creating a new game with a new game engine from Carmack, but he didn't expect it to slip that much away from his hands and it was still better than creating a new game with Romero, which would have caused more horrible things (Id Software and its two leaders were too much of a threat to just say:"F*ck it! I won't let you create another game!", because video games were already starting to rule over the world, which is also why TV tries to bring back its reputation by blaming video games for mass shootings).

Bill Gates became the complete opposite of himself, creating Xbox and supporting not only Bungie, or the Xbox, but also the entire console age with Halo. So, at the end, the prophecy came true. The console age would return; it just wasn't directly Apogee who caused it with their "greatest console game of all time"

Oh, by the way, Quake is great.
Sherbet 20 Jan @ 8:23am 
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󠀡󠀡 3 Jan, 2021 @ 6:51pm 
Der Wahnsinn! War erst skeptisch, ob die Saugfunktion überhaupt richtig funktioniert. Aber hey es ist brutal der Dödel wird richtig ausgequetscht. Sau gutes Gefühl und ich habe einen sehr intensiven Orgasmus bekommen. Als kleines Manko was aber denke ich nicht anderst umsetzbar ist, ist dass bei "Vielspritzern" wie ich es bin, es aus dem Ausströmer austritt💦. Auch das es für gut bestückte etwas eng zu geht und bei mir nicht der koplette Penis🍆 hinein passt, dies schadet jedoch dem enorm guten Gefühl nicht.
Fazit: Ein absolutes muss für jedem Mann egal ob singel oder nicht!!! 🍌💦
Update! Saugfunktion mittlerweile defekt! Kommt vermutlich dadurch dass das ganze Sperma angesaugt wird. Schade.
󠀡󠀡 31 Dec, 2020 @ 6:26am 
nut buster
Sgt.Ramen ツ 16 Feb, 2020 @ 2:11pm 
I played less than 12 minutes and came 19 times without touching my peepee.
I came in such a burst of pleasure that my best friend came as well and he is living about 40 kilometers far away
as well as my gf but she came from a distance of 730km
you may ask why
i cant tell.
but what i can tell is the fact it cured my cancer,aids,hunger,afrikan genes and almost (sadly) my will to die
oh and of course
my ♥♥♥♥ expanded 20 times, i grew 3 more of them, women manifest out of matter which resolve in the air and i made communism viable as well.
Sgt.Ramen ツ 23 Dec, 2019 @ 10:01pm 
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󠀡󠀡 31 Oct, 2019 @ 5:59pm 
Bin sehr verwundert, dass die NUTTÖ ihre Füße wegzieht. Sowas ist mir noch nie passiert. Ich gehe regelmäßig in den Puff und lasse mir von verschiedenen Nutten mit ihren Füßen meinen Pimmel abmelken und spritze IMMER mein Saft mit voller Wucht auf deren Füße. Manchmal verreiben ich oder die NUTTÖ es selbst in ihre Füße ein bis es restlos eingewirkt ist. In welchen Puff gehst du, dass die NUTTÖ das nicht macht? Oder du testest einfach mal eine andere NUTTÖ aus. Hat deine NUTTÖ angst, dass sie duch das männliche Sperma männliche Fuße bekommt? :D