Bread Skate UwU's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 6:33pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 7:41pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 7:18pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 18 Oct, 2021 @ 5:44pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 7:18pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 7:42pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 3:28pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2017 @ 6:00pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2017 @ 9:01am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2021 @ 10:03pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2021 @ 2:18pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2021 @ 5:56pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 9 Oct, 2024 @ 8:58pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2017 @ 6:57pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2017 @ 3:04pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 4 Oct, 2017 @ 12:45pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2021 @ 8:23am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 5:41pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2018 @ 7:11pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2021 @ 6:05pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2017 @ 4:27pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2017 @ 4:13pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2017 @ 3:18pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2017 @ 6:28pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2017 @ 2:43pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Sep, 2021 @ 6:06pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 24 Dec, 2018 @ 3:24pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 5 Apr, 2021 @ 9:47pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2021 @ 3:49pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 6:54pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2017 @ 6:05pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2017 @ 5:47pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 7:34pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 12:54pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2021 @ 4:49pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2021 @ 3:37pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2021 @ 10:25pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 6:40pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 7:44pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 9 Oct, 2021 @ 6:23pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 6:38pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 7:58pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 6:33pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 7:44pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 4 Oct, 2017 @ 12:55pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 10 Oct, 2022 @ 10:21am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2017 @ 3:59pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2017 @ 5:19pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2022 @ 6:38pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 16 Sep, 2021 @ 5:40pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2021 @ 9:53am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2021 @ 9:35am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 10 Oct, 2022 @ 10:33am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 8:29pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2021 @ 5:59pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2021 @ 10:34pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2021 @ 12:35pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 11:57am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2021 @ 10:09pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 28 Sep, 2021 @ 6:45pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2021 @ 11:56am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 8:50pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 9:09pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

23 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

8 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

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