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I was expecting a Stardew Co-op, which is what it sounds like you and your GF were after. Everyone is basically an equal member, communally working towards goals.
INSTEAD
Dinkum offers a different approach, which seems based on the idea of everyone having their own island and their own relationships with the NPCs. You carry your own licenses and inventory with you from Friend to Friend, from Island to Island. As a result, you can blast them ahead of the curve, or you can use your advanced friend as a crutch to improve your own relationships with NPCs.
It does suck that there is no "OUR Island" to it. But the co-op is, in my opinion, just as true as any other type. It is 2 independent characters working together.
Example 1 sounds like a bug that should be reported.