Religious Figure
Miami Call of Duty Infinite Warfare 2017 Champion
Fort Lauderdale Capcom Cup 2014 Champion
Jacksonville FIFA Interactive World Cup 2009 Champion
Plank Hold (01:19:59)
Member of MENSA
Kohls' Employee of the Month Award x6
Ran 5 "Iron Mans" in 5 Days
Recite all 50 US states in alphabetical order in 12 seconds
Husked 13 Cobs of Corn in one minute
Can Freedive 125 Meters Deep
Broke The Sound Barrier x4
Founder of the Idea of Religious Tolerance
CPR Certified
Lexus December To Remember Sales Event Loan Champion x4
Little League World Series 2011 Winner
NCAA March Madness Perfect Bracket Winner 2001-2009
Co-Invented Solar Power (un-credited (which is buIIshit))
Fortune 500 CEO
Most Consecutive One-Handed Back Handsprings (34)
7.32 Foot Vertical Jump
Academy Honorary Award Nominee x3
Freemason
Climbed Mount Everest x2
Pepsi NFL Rookie Of The Year Award 2001
Most 5.56×45mm Bullets Swallowed in a Minute (83 1/2)
Co-Invented Democracy
Patient Zero for 5 Global Diseases (survived all)
Map Designer for Vertigo
Mew Lord
Looksmaxxer (8.23/10)
Non-Norwood
No Fap since 2001
Moneymaxxed
World record for longest time edged (235:12:32)
World record for longest time gooned (1:02:19)
Professional Cheeser
CS:GO Global Elite : 11/05/2017
CS:GO ESEA Rank A+ : 02/22/2019
CS:GO Faceit Rank 10 : 10/31/2019
Elden Ring Top Player
Every souls game no hit completed 7/4/24
National winner in jelqing 2017-2024(will be 25)
Olympic Cheeser champ 2023
Motostoner
uwu enjoyer
Afraid of women
200lbs
21 inch arms
365 bench (we dont ask bout squat)
Average bruce hater
Asmongold completionist 2020 champion
Stinkiest chair
Locked into bottom of the leaderboard
Is the best to do it
Most washed fortnite player
#1 worst Skur Ritual lucky hitter
Average cardio enjoyer
Rick friend
The Basher

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