Am-I-Insane?'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2014 @ 9:22am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2014 @ 1:03pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2014 @ 9:29am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 4 Mar, 2023 @ 10:05am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2014 @ 9:29am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 3:42pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2014 @ 9:28am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2014 @ 10:10am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 1:46pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2014 @ 11:03am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 3:42pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2014 @ 6:20am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 1:46pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2014 @ 10:06am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2015 @ 5:15am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2014 @ 7:33am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 24 Dec, 2017 @ 3:22pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2014 @ 6:20am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2016 @ 3:06pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2014 @ 7:33am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2014 @ 9:28am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2014 @ 10:06am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2014 @ 6:20am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 1:46pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 3:42pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2014 @ 9:31am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2014 @ 9:31am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2014 @ 10:06am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2014 @ 1:02pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2014 @ 7:33am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2014 @ 10:06am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2014 @ 7:33am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 3:42pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 3:42pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2014 @ 9:15am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2014 @ 9:24am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2014 @ 12:55pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 3:42pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2014 @ 11:08am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 3:42pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2014 @ 10:58am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2014 @ 10:06am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2014 @ 7:33am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 3:42pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2014 @ 10:40am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 3:42pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 3:42pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2014 @ 10:44am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2018 @ 6:00am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2016 @ 1:05am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2017 @ 9:29pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

24 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

4 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

22 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

110 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

27 / 30