One time me and this guy were rolling blading through the Swiss Alps, (We've ALWAYS wanted to) and he he started telling me about how he doesn't think Fred Astaire is traditionally attractive, but he would still "suck on him like he was the bottom of a drumstick". I was kind of weirded out by his comment, but I kept shredding the mountains anyway (again, we've ALWAYS wanted to do this). Once I had rolled a decent way away from him, I started thinking about how long we've wanted to frickin raw dog roll these tall ass earth pimples and I kind of forgot about what he had said. 6 wheels on a dangle of sex ridges helps let a lot of things slide. One of our better trips.

I had a debate about what the definition of the word "Bombastic" was with this guy, and I'm still pretty sure he doesn't know what it means. He kept telling the waitress at Chili's that his chicken strip basket was too Bombastic and He'd like to send it back, and she had better Bombastic her way back with those big breasts of hers to alleviate the issue. And also he refused to stop saying "Joe Biden has a Bombastic set of guy parts" even though I was already extremely embarrassed and ready to leave the Chili's. That's when he told me he was going to Bombast his ass into my hands if I didn't stop squawking like a Ham. I still don't know what he meant but after about a 5 second pause he got up and left while yelling the N word at all the white employees.

Last Tuesday this guy arrived at his court ordered community service and ripped a really nasty fart while serving soup to underprivileged kids. It was disgusting, but the worst part is, right before he did it, he locked all the doors, turned the furnace up, and spilled the soup all over the top of his head before saying „suck on this you poor little ♥♥♥♥♥“. Just crass behavior.

There was a rumor going around last Christmas that this guy doesn't believe in Santa Claus, which is weird because he's been catching some heat for sexually assaulting a mall Santa during business hours. Weird time to do it. Anyways, Merry Chistmas. Don't forget the reason for the season.

I heard this guy talking about how much he loves bumper stickers. And not just any bumper stickers. Bumper stickers of the star of david. He has a collection. The back of his 1997 ford windstar has so many star of david bumper stickers on it that we cant even see the real paint anymore and he calls it the jew star radio flyer. Maybe I’m one of those guys who likes to play magic the gathering. Maybe I’m one of those guys who has a binder full of plastic sheets of magic cards. Maybe thats just a rumor no one will ever know. What i do know, is this guy has a binder full of laminated star of david bumper stickers. Some of them are rainbow colors, some of them are are for breast cancer awareness. Some of them are on a Ukrainian flag background. Some of the pages are stuck together though.

This guy has a custom bottle of franks red hot that says “ I put that human ♥♥♥♥ on everything”. Very odd.