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报告翻译问题
If you sheesh once again, I will ♥♥♥♥ you in every hole of your body. I will find you and kill you. I will make sure you will die a painful death.
When I woke up, I saw his phone on the nightstand and decided to take a look, but there's no apple logo there! That's when I realized he was an Android user. I felt a wave of regret wash over me. I don't know why, but I just can't be with someone who uses Android. It's not that I hate them or anything, it's just that I've always been more of an iPhone girl.
Now, I'm trying to decide what to do. Do I just pretend like nothing happened and leave? Do I confront him about it? Or do I try to make things work despite our differences? I mean, we had amazing sex, and he seemed really into me. Maybe I could change his mind about Android?
PLEASE GET THIS MESSAGE TO DR. JORDAN B. PETERSON AND TOGETHER WITH HIS FELLOW INTELLECTUALS OF THE DARK WEB THEY CAN FORM A PLAN TO RESCUE ME FROM MY CURRENT UNFORTUNATE AND EMBARRASSING PREDICAMENT BECAUSE EVERYONE HERE IS USING A NORMAL SEMEN MILKING HOSE AND WHENEVER THEY HAVE TO MAKE SURE IT RETAINS SUCTION SO THAT THE ♥♥♥ MAY FLOW THE NURSES GIGGLE AND SPEAK THEIR WEIRD LANGUAGE AND POINT AT MY HOG ONE EVEN LOOKED AT ME AND IN BROKEN ENGLISH SAID "AHH SO CUUUUTE" LIKE MY DONG WAS A BABY ANIMAL OR THE BLUE CATS FROM AVATAR THAT WERE MEANT TO REPRESENT NATIVE AMERICANS BUT I WOULD ♥♥♥♥ THE MAIN BLUE CAT IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY THAT I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO GO SLOPPY SECONDS WITH BLUE CAT JAKE SULLY I JUST WANT TO ♥♥♥♥ THE BLUE CAT AND NOT BE STUCK IN THIS GODFORSAKEN SEMEN MILKING MACHINE