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"Look we dont really have any data or evidence," says Dr. Goldenschnoz "but we're the Scientists damn it and you have to do what we say."
Although there have been several cases of people dying while wearing their bags, this is likely because others in their vicinity were not wearing their own bags.
"It's selfish and arrogant, really." Says Professor Jabb Kilts "These people think they have the right to dissent and not do what they're told. These are the same people who don't believe in global warming and think pornography is some conspiracy to control the populace. Utter lunatics."