The subject: PRIVATE MILLER (22, naive and dutiful) sits
at a small table with a microphone on it. Miller raises
his hand, REVEALING a smoldering JOINT.

2


He takes a long and awkward hit from the joint and bursts
into a coughing fit.

The scientists begin to scribble profusely as their
devices blink manically. General Brat and Agent Black
Suit exchange a concerned look. The General lights a
cigarette as the Scientist steps up to a small microphone
in the corner.

SCIENTIST
(into microphone)
Private Miller, we are now going to ask
you several questions. How do you feel?

His voice booms through large speakers on Miller's side
of the room. Miller leans towards the microphone.

PRIVATE MILLER
Uh, I feel a little queer sir. But...
It's good. Good queer.
(beat)
Sir. Good queer, Sir.

The scientists scribble madly. One of them mumbles into
General Brat's ear.

PRIVATE MILLER (CONT'D)
But...uh...even though I feel queer, Sir,
I should mention that I'm also feeling
quite gay...so, a little queer, but
mostly gay.

SCIENTIST
Private Miller. When you think of your
superiors, what emotions do you feel?

PRIVATE MILLER
(holding out the joint)
This went out...Sir.

SCIENTIST
We will send someone in. Now answer the
question.

A door opens beside Private Miller and an AGENT steps out
wearing an intricate uniform that resembles an old
fashioned diving suit, an air hose leading out the door
that he came from. He slowly walks toward the Private,
who looks at him in shock.