Kill someone with a P90 - "You're a noob!! Noob weapon!!"
Kill someone with a P90 through a smoke - "You're a hacker!!"
Kill someone with a AWP - "You're a noob!! Noob weapon!!"
Kill someone with a AWP through a door - "You're a hacker!!"
In a 1 vs 5 you die - "You're a noob!!"
In a 1 vs 5 you win - "You're a hacker!!"
Kill someone with a headshot - "Hacker!!"
Get headshoted by someone - "Owned!!" and get teabagged
Kill someone with a grenade - "Luck!!"
Get killed by someone with a grenade - "AHAHAHAHA...KOBE!!"
Get teamkilled by someone - "Get out of the way you idiot!!"
Accidentally teamkill someone - "You're an idiot!!"
Blocked by someone - Die...
Accidentally blocks someone - "Get out the way you idiot!!"
Decide to save - "You're a coward!!"
Decide not to save - "Save you idiot!!"
Kill someone while defending the bomb - "You efffinggg camper!!"
Kill someone while defending the hostages - "You efffinggg camper!!"
Someone dies - The deceased one starts to rage
Your team lose the round - Your team starts to rage
Your team is losing 10-2 - Someone rages quits!
Worst guy receives a drop - "Are you serious!?!?"
Warm up - Everybody tries to spawn kill
Score is 5-1 in your favor - "This is a T map!"
Score is 1-5 againts you - "This is a CT map!"
Lose the first 2 rounds - Someone asks to get kicked
Last round - Everybody buys Negev
Your team is loosing and you are in last - Someone vote to kick you
Win a match - All enemy team rages
Lose a match - Your team rages
Someone's Internet crashes - 30 minute ban
Your Internet crashes - 7 day ban
Oh yeah, when a "pro" is on the server, every one magically has a MIC!

The RAGE Simulator is REAL.