Crying

Hey ladies.

They liiied, okay!? THE LIIIED!

Recently, I've been on the internet, and I've been seeing ladies post that they want a "Shy Nerdy Boyfriendᵀᴹ" THEY DON'T, OKAY!? THEY DON'T!

Crying

When I first heard this news, I was so excited. Finally, I get to be myself. Finally, I get to be who I truly am. No longer did I need to worry about what I wore, no longer did I need to listen to Frank Ocean, and no longer was there a need for ˢʰᵒʷᵉʳˢ, ʰᵃ ʰᵃ ʰᵃ... I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

I was so excited, that the very next day I couldn't WAIT to get to school! My backpack was bouncing up and down as I was running across the hallway, getting ready to learn. I sat at the very front of the classroom, working on my GitHub profile 10 minutes before class started. And for ˢᵒᵐᵉ reason... Not one lady sat next to me. And I thought, "Huh... Something's wrong here..." But then later in the class, one of the students decided to present his presentation, and I thought, "Oh, This is my time to shine!" So I raised my hand, and I said,

"Erm, actually, you're missing a comma right in that sentence over there."

And for some reason, there was no standing ovation. Where was my applause? Where were the ladies!? What- Eh- Tch- I don't understand! I- I thought the ladies would come flocking over to my genius!

Raging

And then after class, alright, NOBODY, nobody went to say hi to me! Not one of the ladies! And guess who they went to?

TODD! THE CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM!

Raging Todd...! Raging Todd!

After school, I thought all hope was lost, and I was ready to go home. But then I decided "Oh, maybe I could use a quick trip to the library real quick..." And that's when I thought my hope was back, alright? I thought my hope was back.

I saw a lady.

And according to my calculations, she was indeed a baddie, okay? She was indeed a baddie. And I thought this my time to shine. So I stood there acting all awkward and shy as the internet told me, and see if she would walk over to me. But do you guys think she did!? No! She walked right past me!And guess who she goes to.

TODD!!! THE CAPTAIN OF FOOTBALL TEAM!

Raging Todd...! Raging

And the worst part is? He didn't even have to do anything. He did not solve any intergrals in front of her. All he did was say... "Hey baby." AND SHE JUST WENT TO HIM! I-IT JUST WORKED! I don't understand! What am I doing!?

Raging

The moral of the story today is that NOBODY WANTS A NERD, OKAY!? NOBODY! What they actually mean by wanting a shy nerdy boyfriend is that they still want the jocks! They still want the jocks and the frat boys! All they mean is that, "Oh, maybe he could wear a pair of glasses or something..." That's what they really mean, okay? They don't want a nerd. NOBODY WANTS A NERD!

Crying

THEY LIED!