his is an automated message sent by the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We are to inform you that you are now on a watchlist, and that you are to be monitored 24/7 as of now. Your actions have concerned us, and we are in suspicion that you are a potential risk to society and anyone around you. Due to the fact that you often search up various topics on the internet that concern mass killings and shootings, you are now labeled as a could-be terrorist. Here are the various things you have searched up in the past months. Child porn. How to make a bomb. How to kill people with a flick of a hand. How to seduce a child. How to buy a small bonded child. If you have not searched up any of these topics, please contact a representative of the Federal Bureau of Investigation at once to fix this major error by calling (310) 477-6565