David's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 9 Jan, 2019 @ 7:02am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2019 @ 8:50am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2019 @ 8:11am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 7 Feb, 2019 @ 10:13am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2019 @ 4:28am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 9 Jan, 2019 @ 10:54am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2019 @ 2:23am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2019 @ 10:52am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 17 Jan, 2019 @ 7:38am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2019 @ 6:00am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2019 @ 7:29am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2019 @ 9:32am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 9 Jan, 2019 @ 9:56am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2019 @ 7:10am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 8 Jun, 2019 @ 12:49pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 19 Jan, 2019 @ 1:06am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2019 @ 5:22am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2019 @ 9:31am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2019 @ 7:49am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2019 @ 9:52am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 19 Jan, 2019 @ 1:02am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2019 @ 9:14am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2019 @ 1:50am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2019 @ 10:16am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2019 @ 6:55am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2019 @ 9:47am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Jan, 2019 @ 7:37am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 14 Jan, 2019 @ 11:09am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 1 Feb, 2019 @ 6:31am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2019 @ 10:18am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2019 @ 6:07am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2019 @ 11:11am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2019 @ 7:19am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2019 @ 9:47am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2019 @ 7:15am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2019 @ 4:05am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2019 @ 2:56am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 1 Jun, 2019 @ 12:54am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2019 @ 8:52am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2019 @ 8:07am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2019 @ 3:46am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2019 @ 9:24am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2019 @ 8:37am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2019 @ 7:36am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2019 @ 8:10am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 17 Jan, 2019 @ 7:28am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2019 @ 9:16am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2019 @ 5:22am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2019 @ 9:59am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2019 @ 3:46am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2019 @ 1:34am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2019 @ 1:19am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2019 @ 8:50am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2019 @ 10:42am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2019 @ 9:09am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 7 Mar, 2019 @ 12:11pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 1 Jun, 2019 @ 12:04am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2019 @ 10:17am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2019 @ 8:57am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 17 Feb, 2019 @ 10:34am

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 8 Jun, 2019 @ 11:22am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2019 @ 10:47am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 18 Feb, 2019 @ 7:19am

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2019 @ 9:24am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2019 @ 8:52am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2019 @ 9:39am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

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