+Rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

When I was about 13 I LOVED angry birds, I had every game and bought every toy they had. One day I was playing angry birds when all of a sudden the big red bird turned me on. I couldn’t stand it, I was going crazy. I decided to pull out my big long Willy and start jerking. I never had felt so good, I soon continued to do this daily and never got bored of it! That big red bird was so hot and those blue ones were some cuties. I am glad to admit I still do this to this very day

+rep, big shlong. Felt it in my gut, almost reached my belly button (from the inside)

No! don't hurt the cat!

ʰᵒʷ ᵈᵒᵉˢ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵇᵒᵈʸ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵏᶰᵒʷ ʰᵒʷ ᵗᵒ ᶠˡᵘˢʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᵒᶤˡᵉᵗ

ᵃfᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉʸᵛᵉ ʰᵃᵈ ᵃ ＳＨＥＴ

'ᵗ ʷᵃˢⁿᵗ ᵐᵉ

ｗｅｌｌ ｉｔ ｗａｓＦＯＯＫＩＮＧｏｎｅ ｏｆ ｙａｓ

-Think it's in there?

-All right. Let's get it!

-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?

-Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.

{Laughs}

-Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint.

Now, ogres - - They're much worse.

They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.

-No!

-They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!

Actually, it's quite good on toast.

-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!

{Gasping}

-Right.

{Roaring}

{Shouting}

{Roaring}

{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.

{Gasping}

{Laughs}

{Laughing} And stay out!

"Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."

{Sighs}

{Man's voice} All right. This one's full.

-Take it away!

{Gasps}

-Move it along. Come on! Get up!

-Next!

-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.

That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!

-Get up! Come on!

-Twenty pieces.

{Thudding}

-Sit down there!

-Keep quiet!