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[Signs illuminate on a large security panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]
Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"
[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]
The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"
[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]
Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"
[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]
Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"
Scout: Let's go, let's go-
[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]
Heavy: "INCOMING!"
[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe]
Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"
Spy: "Ahem."
[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder]
Spy: "Gentlemen."
[Meet the Spy' Title Card]
[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk]
Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."
Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."
Scout: "Yeah, it is!"
Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"
Spy: "No? Then we still have a problem."
[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back]
Soldier: "...and a knife."
[The Scout approaches and removes the knife]
Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like you!"
[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it]
Scout: "Ow! No offense."
Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me." [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout] "And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."
[The Soldier and Heavy chuckle]
[The Spy turns to face the Scout]
Spy: "No... that would be your mother!"
[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's mother]
Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]
Spy: "Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."
[[[Right Behind You]] plays]
[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular]
[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground]
Scout: "Gimme that!"
Spy: "This Spy has already breached our defenses..."
[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides an Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]
Engineer: "Sentry Down!"