Shalom!

What is Mazel tov? Yeah, it's a phrase uttered whenever a Jew gets 15 shekels from a lottery ticket, or whenever your girlfriend says she's positive, but what is this group? Is it a group for Jews? Is it satire? Is it a joke for the non-religious? Who knows? Who cares? Here's a card, call someone who gives a shit.

But that's not what I'm typing this to talk about, nope. I'm here to talk to you about the one thing that will help you get through the turmoil of the 21st century, Mazel tov! Well, the first thing you may want to ask yourself is what can this group do for me?

Ask yourself that now.

Good question! But you're asking the wrong question, what you should be asking is what can't this group do for you! This group cannot and will not forget your 12th birthday and leave you alone on your special day. This group cannot incite you into religious doctrine that will make you kill innocents, and most importantly, this group cannot force you to read. Well, that it can do, because you are wasting your time by reading this right now. Checkmate, goyim.

But to give you a short condensed review of what Mazel tov is really about, let me tell you something. We do giveways and make crude jokes. We like to have fun and make fun. of minorities. We have a small jihad to keep the kids happy and one of those really cool chocolate fountains that your bum aunt wouldn't let you drink from.

Welcome to Mazel tov! You're crazy.