Well, not NEW new, but still pretty new. The Cougars inducted Chimpo because the Cougars felt they needed a member who looks like a monkey and always says stuff like "that really peels my banana" when he's frustrated.

Cougars Rule!!!
Jack Fat
3rd Period History

As early as 1609, Cougars ruled. In 1706, Benjamin Franklin was the first Cougar to be born already a Cougar. There are some debates but most people think that he was a Cougar as early as 1703. But he wasn't born until after and he was already a Cougar.

Other famous Cougars include George Washington Carver and the guy who invented the flying side kick. Thomas Paine was a Cougar but then he was inactive for some years and the other Cougars just never bothered to kick him out. After that it was a tradition to have some Cougars never do anything but not get kicked out of the Cougars.

John F. Kennedy applied for Cougarship in October of 1963 and would have been the first U.S. President who was also a Cougar if he hadn't been assassinated on the way to the meeting where the Cougars were going to swear him in. Some people think that his ghost is a Cougar but there are no ghosts in Cougars. Cougars usually say "g-g-g-ghost" like Shaggy and then laugh. The Shaggy is Shaggy from Scooby Doo and not the other Shaggy. Shaggy from Scooby Doo is the only cartoon who is also in Cougars but he doesn't do anything like Thomas Paine.

Cougars get their name from a lot of places but mostly from cats. If you try to take a dead antelope from Cougar you will probably be killed. Sometimes Cougars get in the trees and laugh about throwing nuts at cars.

Cougars was formed in outer space by the first Cougars. Then they moved to earth because the Internet was faster there.

Everybody's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lying to me, except about how much the Cougars rule.

I guess I spoke too soon about my potato reward. Now I simultaneously rule and feel a little guilty. Cougars!!!

I'm the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ player of the week for getting a whole sack of potatoes but not actually pre-ordering Portal 2. This is my reward!!!! Cougars RULE!!!

Love,
Jack Fat